Farewell
by TamSibling
Summary: UPDATE - NEW CHAPTER: A plot bunny from the second half of Season 4 teaser trailer. Lee finds Kara under the stars - and there's a lot for them to talk about. This might be the last entry - there might be others. Leave a message and let me know! Kara:Lee.
1. Farewell

Title: Farewell

Pairing: Lee/Kara

Disclaimer: I don't own it, sadly.

Spoilers: Everything through Season 4, Episode 2 "Six of One."

Summary: Lee gets a promise from his father and sets a few things straight with Kara.

A/N: All right, so like many of us, the episode on Friday, while amazing, definitely left me with some questions. As I don't know if they'll ever be answered (who's holding out for the deleted scenes on the Season 4 box set?), I tried to answer at least one myself – namely, why the frak would Lee leave Galactica when Kara's fate was still so up in the air.

Also, I just had to write some more brig stuff – so the bit between Kara and Lee takes place pretty much directly after what we saw in the ep (Lee kisses her, says "I believe you," and then they hug.)

I really hope you like it. I have a few ideas for ways to continue it as well, so let me know if you'd be interested in a multi-chapter fic. It'll probably be slow in coming as I might try to weave events from S4 into it. Let me know your thoughts! And thanks in advance for reading!

-- --

"Say it again."

"Lee-"

"I mean it, dad. I need you to say it again." His cloudy eyes darted to the waiting raptor and then back to his father. He had heard it, just a couple hours ago, but he needed his father to reaffirm his commitment. "Or I won't be able to get on that ship."

William Adama held his son's gaze and nodded once. Placing a heavy hand on Lee's shoulder, he told him, "I promise you, son. Kara is safe here."

Of their own volition, Lee's eyes darted to the president, standing a distance away and looking pale. He wondered how much time she had left. And if it would be long enough to acquaint Kara with an airlock.

Bill followed his son's gaze. "Lee, _I'm_ promising you this," he emphasized. "No one is going to hurt Starbuck." The hand still on his shoulder squeezed. "No one and nothing is going to take her from us again."

Lee nodded. The vice-like grip around his heart eased just a tad.

"You might want to tell her that," he confided. Glancing down to his hands, Lee hoped his father didn't see his cheeks flush as he remembered their kiss. If he hadn't been convinced before that it was Starbuck, he was certain now. "She's barely holding it together."

Lee prayed she wouldn't kill him for admitting that to the Old Man.

"I know." Lee saw understanding, not condemnation in his father's eyes and the weight in his chest lessened a bit more. "Trust me, I'm working on it."

"I am trusting you." He was surprised he could say it – even more surprised that he meant it. For perhaps the first time in his adult life, Lee Adama was trusting his father.

"I'll be back to visit as soon as I can manage it." The smile in his father's eyes told Lee that Bill Adama had no delusions about whom exactly he would be visiting.

"I wouldn't expect any less."

-- --

One Hour Earlier

-- --

"You have to go."

Why did she have to sound so broken? So scared? Lee wanted her to shove him out the door, tell him to stop being so mushy and get on with it.

But instead she had kissed him back, cupped his face in her hands and was holding him so tightly he wondered if they were still two separate people.

"I really do, Kara." He didn't want to – not anymore. He'd been ready to go before he'd walked into this cell. He'd been ready to tell Kara goodbye and not give Galactica a second thought.

…

Who was he kidding?

Just a few short days ago, Kara had reappeared in his life and like the worst timing, Zarek had come through the same day. Lee had hung up one set of duties for another; and they no longer included watching over the fleet's number one hotshot pilot.

"I'm sorry."

Kara shook her head at his apology, her hair tickling his chin. She still hadn't released him. "What? You think I can't take care of myself?"

"Things are different now." _The understatement of the entire frakkin' century!_

"I'm still Starbuck, right?"

She leaned back and met his gaze, eyes shining, but face full of trepidation. "Isn't that what the Doc said?"

Lee nodded, unwilling to trust his voice. He never thought he'd look into those eyes again. He moved his hands to her cheeks, brushing her hair back and marveling at the miracle before him.

Her eyes seemed to be searching his just as intently. "Lee, did I –" She stopped, her breath coming out in a big sigh before she could speak again. "Did I really die?"

His throat constricted and he found it hard to breathe. He couldn't say it aloud, he could barely stand to watch the gun camera footage. It had been burned into his brain, seared onto the back of his eyelids. The spectacular explosion that was supposed to have claimed her life never left him in peace. He'd be damned if he actually gave it more credence by admitting it had happened.

So, he kissed her instead, tilting his face to hers. It was less desperate than before. This time, he caressed her lips with his, coaxing her mouth open before slipping his tongue inside. It was about breathing her in, infusing his senses with her so that he'd have the memory forever.

Kara's grip on his shoulders tightened and she stepped forward, bringing them flush once more. She offered no hesitation, simply met his kisses, his ardor with her own. It made him want to make grand gestures; he felt the need to once again declare his love to the night sky.

_By the Gods how was he ever going to get off this ship?_

They parted for air, foreheads resting together. Lee listened to her breathe, listened to the comforting sound of air going in and coming out. Slowly, he trailed one hand down her neck, tracing along the chain of her dogtags until his palm rested over her heart; until he could feel the beat of it against his hand.

"You're alive, Kara."

Kara mirrored his pose, her fingers catching in the open buttons of his shirt. "But I wasn't for two months, right?" Her voice was soft, hesitant and when Lee met her gaze, he saw tears there. "For two months I was gone and I –"

She softly began stroking the skin over his heart, her fingers moving in a circular pattern that soothed and aroused him all at once.

Suddenly, she stopped, choosing instead to meet his eyes. Lee's breath caught; he'd never seen so much pain reflected in her gaze.

"I don't remember it, Lee." One tear rolled down her cheek, but she ignored it. "I don't. I know what that sounds like, but I don't know what happened. I was in my plane and then I was orbiting earth and then I was back and I-"

"It'll come back, Kara." He wanted to reassure her, but he knew it was useless. He still tried. "Whatever happened, we'll figure it out."

"Don't go."

Lee wondered how many times his heart could break. He'd assumed the morning of her wedding had been his low point. Then he'd watched her ship explode.

Now this.

Judging by the way her cheeks flamed red, Lee guessed Kara hadn't meant to speak the words out loud. Her embarrassment broke the spell between them and she stepped back, retreating to the opposite wall.

"Kara, I-"

"Forget it." She brushed it off, her voice full of more hurt than fear. "You've got your own destiny now, I get it."

_Did he really? Or was that just what he told himself so he could sleep at night?_

"See? You _can_ still say no to me."

That stung.

"Kara, I didn't know you'd be back."

Her eyes flashed with anger and Lee knew he was in for it. "Sorry if my return from the dead disrupted your life."

He clenched and unclenched his fists. He wasn't going to hit her. "You know that's not what I meant."

"Really? 'Cause it seems to me, it is. It seems to me you're ready to walk off this ship and start a brand new life when there's a very real possibility I could get spaced." She angrily gestured to the door behind him. "Please, Lee. I'd hate to inconvenience you."

He was putting an end to this. Stepping forward, he reached for her hand, pressing it back over his heart and placing his hand over hers. "We are alive, Kara and that's all that matters to me."

She held his gaze unflinchingly, but made no move to speak. Moving closer, Lee lowered his voice. "And do you honestly think I'd take another step if my father hadn't promised me you'd be safe?"

Her eyes widened at the admission and he smiled – just a little. "He gave me his word, Kara. And I believe him." Cupping her cheek once more, Lee told her, "Both of us are done watching you die."

She didn't move, barely breathed, but Lee could see the tension seep out of her stance. With a sigh, she cast her eyes to the floor and stared in silence. After an interminably long moment, she finally looked back to him and smiled. "Thank you."

Lee embraced her again and without hesitation, Kara hugged him back. And Lee knew, in that moment, that Tom Zarek was going to regret nominating him for that Quorum seat. Because every free minute he had, he'd be on Galactica, trying to figure out what the hell had happened to Kara.

Every spare minute would be spent with her, because Lee had no intention of losing her again.


	2. In Touch

Title: In Touch

Pairing: Nothing overt, but it is Lee/Kara

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Not mine. Ron, Sci-Fi, Universal, NBC, please don't sue.

Summary: "Missing" scenes from "The Ties That Bind." Lee wants to know where Kara is and Helo wants Kara to slow down.

A/N: This story is similar to my last Season 4 fic, a hrefcommunity./beyondinsane/785634.html#cutid1Farewell/a. It deals with some "missing" scenes or unanswered questions from that episode.

Mainly, during the press conference, it looked as if Lee was a little confused when the reporter implied Kara might be on the Demetrius. So, who better for him to ask than his dad?

And, I've been really craving some good Helo/Kara interaction. It's obvious he supports her whole-heartedly, but there's been hardly any discussion between them. I figured after the events of last night's ep, Kara could really use a friend.

Please review and let me know what you think!

-- --

"Where is she?"

Bill Adama met his son's accusatory stare unflinchingly. "Who?"

He watched Lee's face scrunch up into the most exasperated expression – something he'd inherited from his mother, before his son took a deep breath and asked again, "Where is she?"

With a sigh, Bill leaned forward, removing his glasses. Pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, he counted to ten. "Not here."

"Did you really send her off on the Demetrius?" His tone was a mixture of pain and disbelief and Bill knew Lee would never understand.

"I gave her a chance."

"By sending her off on a garbage scow? By cutting her off from everyone, everything?" Lee approached his desk swiftly, planting his fists on top and leaning forward. "I thought you said you understood. I thought you knew how fragile she was?"

"I do, Lee. And I didn't send her off by herself. Anders and Helo are with her. Along with a handful of others."

Bill ignored the flash of jealousy in Lee's eyes at the mention of Kara's husband. "And that makes it okay? Sending her away, like she's something to be ashamed of, like she's not to be trusted, you thought that was the best idea?" Lee backed up, crossing his arms over his chest. "I can't believe I trusted you."

Adama was no longer going to brook his son's disappointment. "She's on a classified military mission and as a member of the Quorum that is all you need to know."

"It's Kara, dad."

Silence built between them, but Bill refused to break it. Lee was no longer in the military; he no longer had the right to demand information, to know things that civilians didn't. Even if it involved Kara.

"But I guess that doesn't matter to you anymore." Lee took another step back, hurt filling his eyes. "She's a means to end now. She's an _asset_." The word stung like acid and Bill flinched despite himself.

Lee turned quickly, heading for the hatch. Without much thought, Bill tried to give him something. "We send and receive an encoded packet every thirteen hours." Lee paused, but did not turn. "If someone wanted to include a message, the next one goes out at oh-three hundred."

He watched his son's shoulders rise and fall with what he assumed was a sigh before he opened the door and was gone.

-- --

He didn't bother knocking. She'd just tell him to frak off anyway.

Pushing open the hatch, he was immediately confronted with chaos. Star charts, maps, scribbled notes and sheets of paper littered every surface, including the floor. Helo gingerly stepped over and around it, knowing that Kara was very particular these days about her mess. Gaeta had made the unfortunate choice of trying to organize it for her about ten days ago – he'd left the room holding his throbbing jaw.

Moving farther back into what could only be described as Kara's hovel, Helo finally caught sight of that familiar head of blonde hair. She was curled up in her rack, back to the bulkhead, chest covered with at least three different star charts. The mattress around her was strewn with just as many others. Her latest batch of food, a tray from breakfast that morning, lay untouched on the desk along the opposite wall.

With a sigh, Helo took a few more steps forward and approached her quietly, worried he might startle her. Many things about Kara might have changed in the two months she was missing, but her reflexes had not – she'd just as soon deck a guy as inquire as to what he was doing standing over her sleeping form.

Carefully, he removed each chart, certain to keep them in the order he found them. Rolling them together, he set them aside, reaching for Kara's other notes littered around her form. Amazingly, Kara didn't stir once and that's when Helo knew she was truly exhausted. Finally, he was able to pull a threadbare blanket over her form, taking a moment to tuck it around her bare arms and really study her face.

The bags under her eyes were dark, black and blue circles that looked more like bruises than fatigue. He could only remember her looking this haggard a handful of times before, most recently after they'd found the Eye of Jupiter and she'd admitted to having nightmares.

Her skin was pale as well, paler than it should be and he noticed that her clothes were hanging on her. Well, they would be, seeing as she refused to eat. With a sigh, Helo sat on the edge of her bunk and shook his head. He wondered if anyone had ever died from exhaustion.

"Don't sound so frakkin' worried." Her voice was rough with sleep. Helo glanced to her face and caught sight of her tell-tale smirk a moment before she opened her eyes. "I'm fine."

"Really, Kara?" Helo doubted she'd bothered to look in a mirror lately. "'Cause you sure as hell don't look fine."

"I didn't realize I was trying to win a beauty pageant." She sat up, pushing the blanket down and scrubbing her hands over her face. It was only after she'd pulled them away, blinked a few more times and finally looked to him that she sat up straight as a rod with panic on her features. "What did you do?"

Helo rose and Kara scrambled out after him, frantically pawing through papers surrounding the bed. "Relax, Kara." He reached for the star charts he'd removed from her sleeping form and handed them to her. "These are the ones that were on you when you fell asleep."

Glowering, she snatched the maps from him and then huffed over to her desk. Pushing the tray aside with a snort of disgust, she told him, "Take that frakkin' thing outta here, would ya? It smells."

"Well, if you'd eaten it you wouldn't have to smell it." Helo watched her as she slowly, carefully, spread the charts out, familiarizing herself with where she had left off. She ignored him for a handful of minutes and Helo got annoyed.

"C'mon, Kara. Seriously. When's the last time you ate?"

Her only answer was a one-shoulder shrug. Helo gritted his teeth. "How is this helping, Kara?"

She glanced up at him, a withering glare on her features. "Your pestering? No idea."

"No, Kara. You, working yourself to the point of exhaustion, refusing to eat, shutting yourself in this room like some kind of hermit." He strode forward and placed one of his hands palms down over the map she was intently studying. She looked up to him again, her eyes telegraphing her annoyance. "How in the frak is any of that going to help us find Earth?"

With a sigh, Kara let her shoulders fall, her eyes glancing back down to the desk. She sank into the chair behind her, elbows on the table, head in her hands. "I don't know, Helo," she finally admitted, voice muffled against her palms. After another minute of quiet, she raised her head to stare at him and he saw anger and frustration shining in her hazel eyes. "But how will me playing cards or drinking or eating or frak, even sleeping, help us find Earth either?" He had no answer. "You tell me that and maybe I'll think about changing the way I work."

"Work, Kara? You think this is actually working? Ten course corrections! Ten, in twenty-three days. We've retraced our steps at least three times."

"What do you want me to say, Helo? That we're lost, that _I'm_ lost?" She stood, chest heaving as she raised her voice. Helo saw the start of tears in her eyes. He so had not imagined this was how this conversation would turn out. "Fine! I'm lost. Whatever inkling I had about how to find Earth is gone. That last jump the Admiral made wiped it from my mind completely. I thought that maybe if we jumped back quick enough, I might be able to catch a hint, a whisper, something. But I can't, I didn't and I don't know what to do!"

She landed in a heap back in the chair, pulling her knees into her chest and burying her face against them. Helo rounded the desk in a second, kneeling before her. As he watched her shoulders shake, he moved forward, wrapping his arms around her. She actually let him, which amazed him. But what surprised him even more was how she seemed to welcome the contact and Helo guessed she had been feeling more alone than any of them realized.

"I didn't come here to accuse you, Kara," he finally admitted, resting his cheek beside hers. "I came to offer you help. I came to try and get you to talk to me."

She snorted wetly and Helo felt her pull away from him. "Mission accomplished."

She averted her gaze, keeping her head turned to the opposite wall for a handful of minutes. Helo kept one hand on her knee, the other soothingly stroking her hair. When she turned back to him, she offered him a weak, watery smile.

"Maybe I should send Anders up here." Kara's face paled at the suggestion, but Helo didn't understand it. "He's about ready to climb the walls."

"I've already seen Sam." She cleared her throat. "Trust me, he can't help."

"Kara, give the guy a chance. His wife just-"

She laughed heartily, but it wasn't a nice sound; it was harsh and biting. "Our marriage was a joke, Helo. Sam and I only ever did one thing well." He saw the dark twinkle in her eyes and guessed at its meaning. "We've already tried that, and it didn't help."

"That'd explain why he almost decked Felix a few hours ago." Helo noted how Kara's face paled even farther before she managed to regain some of her Starbuck attitude. "Don't worry. Everyone's fine."

She nodded and then straightened, dislodging his hands and effectively pushing him away lest he wanted to fall over. Reaching again for the maps before her, Kara affected an air of business and when she spoke her tone was measured, even. "Was there something else?"

"Kara, let me help you."

She shook her head sharply and continued to study her charts.

"You know, Sam isn't the only person who volunteered for this mission."

"I don't know whether to thank you or feel sorry for you." She glanced to him. "You should have stayed on Galatica. Frak_, I_ probably should have stayed on Galatica and let Roslin escort me to an airlock."

"You are not a Cylon, Kara."

"You don't know that?"

"No?" Helo returned her hard stare. "I am married to one."

"Athena knows even less," Kara reminded him, cross-referencing the next route she wanted to take with another map. "She's been out of the loop for a few years now. The Cylon's little black sheep."

"Maybe, but we both know you aren't a Cylon."

"No, you hope I'm not." Kara sighed. "There's a difference."

"The hell there is." Helo moved back to her side, pushing her back from the table and standing between her and the desk. With nothing else to do, she slowly raised her eyes to meet his gaze. "Regardless, Kara, I believe in you. You say you've been to Earth and I believe you. Now, we just have to find it."

"_We_ don't have to do anything. It's me, Helo. All. Me." She rose, getting right in his face, even though he was still two heads taller. "Don't you get it? If we fail, it's my fault. If we succeed, it's my fault. If the Cylons beat us there, it's my fault. If we fly into an ambush, it's my fault." Her eyes were searching his for something and Helo hoped she found it – he'd never seen her quite this desperate. "Don't you see? There is no way I'm going to convince anyone I'm not a Cylon. There's still two missing months that I can't account for. Finding Earth or not finding Earth isn't going to change that."

"We're going to find it, Kara. I know we are." Helo did know that, he knew it with every fiber of his being. It didn't matter what anyone said – even Sharon wasn't convinced, but that didn't matter to him. He had known Kara Thrace for quite a few years now and if she said she was going to do something, she frakking did it.

She would lead them to Earth.

He just had to be sure she survived the journey.

"I have no idea why you have so much faith in me." Despite her incredulous tone, he saw gratitude in her eyes and took her words as a compliment.

He kissed her forehead lightly, before stepping back, allowing Kara room to get back to work. "You've always said I'm a sucker for a pretty girl."

She chuckled lightly and it sounded like the old Kara. Helo smiled. "So, what can I do?"

"Right now, not much. Let me take a look at these charts and I'll let you know what I find." She glanced to the clock on the wall. "Did we get the new packet from Galactica?"

Helo glanced to his own watch. "It should be here in about two minutes or so."

She nodded and then went back to work. "Bring it to me once Felix has decoded it." She looked to the tray of food in her line of sight before again studying her maps. "And bring me some lunch, would ya? I'm frakkin' starving."

"Yes, ma'am." Helo couldn't help smiling as he collected her tray and headed for the hatch. She wasn't okay, not by a long shot, but he knew he could reach her, knew that at least someone on this tub could get through to her.

That was all he needed. Kara would do the rest.

He had faith.

-- --


	3. Homecoming

A/N: Okay, like most of us, I too am starved this season for any interaction between our favorite pilots. As a result, I wrote this "missing" scene as an insert into the last episode, "Guess What's Coming For Dinner?"

Major spoilers for all of Season 4, so don't read if you don't want to know. This fits in loosely with the other "missing" scenes I've written for this season – "Farewell" and "In Touch."

The rating on this is PG-13, at best.

I really hope you like it … please, please, please leave me a comment if you do!

-- --

Kara headed out of the Quorum's meeting room exuding more confidence than she actually felt.

In truth, her head was still spinning and she couldn't quite get the hallway to right itself. Mustering as much Starbuck resolve as she could, she straightened her shoulders, following Six's entourage towards the hangar deck.

The words of the Hybrid were ringing in her head: _The dying leader shall know the secret of the Opera House ... the missing Three shall give you the Five ... who have come from the home of the Thirteenth ... You are the harbinger of death, Kara Thrace ... you will lead them all to their end._

Kara blinked once, twice, stopping in mid-stride, a steadying hand on the corridor wall. At least it was solid. Everything else felt blurry, mushy, as if nothing were real. Kara wasn't even sure where she was - had she been left on the baseship? Was she now lying in a puddle of ooze, spouting course coordinates and prophecy in a monotone voice that would echo through the ship?

Rounding a corner, she found a thankfully deserted corridor. Leaning against the wall, Kara tilted her head back, eyes staring at the ceiling. As the room refused to stop spinning, she closed her eyes tight, taking deep breaths and trying her best not to hurl. Feeling an even more urgent need to empty the contents of her stomach, Kara bent forward, hands firmly planted on her knees. She was close to hyperventilating and she couldn't even find the wherewithal to locate the nearest bathroom.

"Kara?"

Frak.

"Kara? Are you all right?"

She tried to spit out a sarcastic comment, but she couldn't get the words out of her mouth. So instead, Lee came closer, a warm hand resting on the small of her back and rubbing lightly. She could smell the familiar scent of him and it still calmed her, despite the churning of her stomach.

He leaned over and Kara caught just a hint of his blue eyes as they regarded her closely. "Gods, Starbuck, you look like hell."

"Always the charmer," she panted, trying vainly not to vomit on Lee's shiny shoes.

"Can you walk? I think you'd better lie down for a bit."

Kara wanted to tell him to frak off, but she felt the world becoming even foggier and feared she might faint. "I'll be fine." But she was still Starbuck and she could still pretend.

"Right. And I'm the president," Lee murmured under his breath. Stepping forward, he didn't allow for anymore of her denial. Confidently, he wrapped a strong arm around her back, pulling her into his side gently and encircling her waist. Kara leaned against him, telling herself it was the awkwardness of the position that made her do it. It had nothing to do with Lee's solid presence or the warmth of him. Or that this was the first time in sixty days anyone had treated her as human.

"No one can see me like this," she whispered into his shirt, stumbling a bit as she tried to foolishly open her eyes and was greeted with a vortex. "They'll, they'll lock me up."

"Shh, it's okay, Kara. You're going to be fine."

She normally would have hit him for coddling her, but Kara couldn't resist the comfort that Lee was providing. One of his hands had moved to her hair, keeping her head gently, but firmly resting against his shoulder. She could hear his heart beat, faint, but distinct under his jacket and she smiled. He was really here.

"I know," she sighed. With barely another thought, she allowed Lee to guide her, working her arm around his waist and walking in tandem with him down the hall.

-- --

"_She can't just disappear, Lee. I need her on the Galactica where myself and everyone else can keep track of her."_

Lee sighed heavily into the phone, doing his damnedest to keep his voice down. The last thing he wanted to do was wake Kara. "And I understand that, Dad. But she needs a break. She almost fainted."

There was a barely audible sigh and Lee could only guess at the look of consternation gracing his father's face. _"I know she's tired, Lee. If the logs are any indication, she barely slept or ate the whole sixty days they were out there."_

Lee had read the same logs – he'd deduced the same. "Just for a little while, Dad. She's already sleeping. I'll get some food in her and make sure she's all right."

"_Twelve hours, Lee. That's it."_

He almost let out a shout of joy; it was more than he'd hoped for. "Yes, sir. Twelve hours and she'll be on a shuttle back to Galactica."

Bill Adama sighed again, but Lee couldn't keep the grin off his face. _"Take care of our girl, Lee."_

He glanced back to the bed, his smile widening at the sight of her blonde hair fanned out across his pillow, her red lips formed into a perfect pout. "Yes, sir."

-- --

Kara awoke slowly which was odd. Over the past few months, her body had been wound tight, ready to jump at a moment's notice, ready to strike out at the first sign of danger. She often woke from her short catnaps with an audible gasp – one that shocked Sam awake as well the few times they had shared a rack. Her heart was always racing, skin always clammy with sweat, palms always itching with fear.

But now she felt herself awaking in stages. She recognized the softness of a comfortable rack beneath her first, a mattress that was not her own, blankets that were far too smooth to be military-issue. She was warm too, but comfortable, not damp with the humidity that permeated the Demetrius.

Rolling onto her side, Kara stretched languidly and reluctantly blinked her eyes open. The ceiling above was unfamiliar, not Galactica's gunmetal gray or the Demetrius' mural. It was white with a sloping arc and windows to her left. She blinked again, her heart starting to speed up as she took an inventory of these foreign surroundings – and the fact that she was in her tanks and underwear – and nothing else.

Sitting up swiftly, Kara lifted the blanket and confirmed that she was indeed not wearing her dress blues, as she had been the last time she'd been conscious. Her heart was really starting to race now. Where was she? Why hadn't she gone back to Galactica with the others? Hadn't the Admiral given her express orders to get her ass back to the ship as soon as the Quorum meeting had concluded?

"You're okay, Kara."

She felt Lee's gentle touch on her arm and she snapped her eyes to him. She hadn't even realized he was in the room or that he was that close. He was still wearing his suit, but he'd removed the tie and suit jacket, unbuttoning a few of the buttons on the crisp shirt. He looked far more at ease than Kara felt.

"What's going on?"

He continued to stroke her arm, reaching out for a moment to push some of her hair behind her ear. Unconsciously, Kara turned her cheek into his palm, and Lee kept it there, smoothing his thumb along her cheek. Instinctively she reached for his other hand and held it, stroking his palm with her fingertips. She felt more real in this moment, touching him, being touched by him, than she had in months.

"You almost passed out after the meeting. I brought you back here to get some rest."

Cocking an eyebrow, Kara looked down and then back at Lee, a smirk pulling at her lips. "And a nap required that you get me naked?"

The tips of Lee's ears flushed a delicious shade of red. "I figured you'd be more comfortable."

Kara allowed the smile she felt to blossom on her face and she nodded. "Thank you." Lee returned the grin and her heart hammered against her rib cage for a totally different reason. "I've got to go. Your father is going to kill me."

She pulled away from him, immediately missing the warmth of his hand, the familiarity of his touch and swung her legs over the edge of the bunk. As she tried to stand, she found that her body was not in favor of the change in equilibrium and she waved out an arm, certain she'd do a face plant right on Lee's floor.

His strong arm was around her waist in a second, pulling her back down to his side. "Easy, Kara. You don't have to go anywhere."

Willing the room to right itself, Kara sighed, dropping her chin to her chest. "Yes, I do. Your father barely let me off the ship for the meeting. I can't just disappear."

"I've already cleared it with him, Kara." Lee's voice was much closer, his breath tickling her cheek and Kara turned to face him, confronted with blue eyes whose memory she had tried hard to banish over the past few months. Remembering them only made the separation worse. "He gave you twelve hours. Twelve hours of downtime."

She wasn't quite sure she believed it, but Kara knew Lee wouldn't lie; not about this. Her status in the Fleet was still tenuous at best and he knew that falling off the grid now would be a sure way to get her introduced to an airlock. "Really?"

Lee smiled again, one that reached his eyes, making them crinkle at the edges, as he reached out a hand and again tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. "Really."

Kara wasn't sure what possessed her, but the next second she was kissing him. His lips were warm and soft and inviting and Kara pulled him tight to her, loving the way his mouth opened to hers, the way his tongue traced her lip before licking inside her mouth. His hands wound their way into her hair, pulling her closer, forcing her to straddle his lap. She did so willing, cupping his face in her hands, kissing Lee with an abandon she had long thought lost.

She pulled back panting, catching her breath as Lee's mouth moved down the column of her neck, his tongue tracing her collarbone. Kara rocked against him gently, hearing his groan as her hips teased his growing arousal. "Kara," he moaned into her skin and she never thought she'd heard a more delicious sound.

"Lee." She almost choked on the word, her emotions running so close to the surface she could barely tamp them down. She'd been gone for sixty days, away from Lee and his belief in her, his love for her. They hadn't spoken the words since that fateful night on New Caprica, but Kara knew he loved her. It was in every touch, every kiss, every sigh – it was in their embrace in the brig before the Admiral had given her the Demetrius and sent her into deep space. It was in the way his hands held her now, cradling her body against his as his lips drew heated trails across her skin.

It was in the way this was so different from how things had been with Sam. The few times they'd frakked, that's all it had been – sex for the sake of release, a way to relieve the tension. This, right now with Lee was about so much more. For the first time in a long time Kara felt human, felt like a woman, felt worthy – felt alive.

She felt the press of tears behind her eyes and dropped her forehead to Lee's shoulder; someone wanted her – Lee wanted her. He continued to kiss along her neck, his mouth moving to her cheek and then her earlobe, his teeth biting gently and causing her to shiver. She kissed his neck as well, running her lips over his pulse point, her hands smoothing over his shoulders and along his back. Finally, the emotions overwhelmed her and Kara simply wrapped her arms around him, crossing her legs behind his back as well, holding on tight. Her shoulders began to shake a bit and she wanted to curse at herself for being so weak. For ruining this moment with her stupid tears; she prayed Lee would understand.

She felt Lee press a kiss to her cheek, his hands still firmly supporting her as she balanced in his lap. And then, one hand trailed its way up and into her hair, cradling the back of her head. "Kara?" His voice was soft, right beside her ear, and she buried herself even further into him at the sound. "Kara, what's the matter?"

Kara shook her head, unwilling to lift her face and let him see how completely devastated she was. She just needed to get her footing back. Needed to stop remembering what that damn hybrid had said, needed to stop worrying about Gaeta and Sam, needed to stop thinking about Leoben and the worship in his eyes.

She tried to speak, but the words were barely recognizable. "Nothing. Just tired."

Lee's hands stroked down her back gently, and Kara sighed. "Why don't you lie down and get some more rest?"

She shook her head again. She didn't want him to leave. Gods, she hated being weak, but she just couldn't do it, she couldn't let him go. "I'll be okay, just give me a minute."

His cheek rested against hers and Kara felt the small rise and fall of his chest as he heaved a sigh. "Kara, you've been through hell. It's okay to admit it."

Kara shook her head again. It wasn't okay to admit it – it would be admitting weakness and vulnerability. Why Kara thought Lee cared about such things, especially after all they'd been through, she had no idea. But she thought he did and she still did, so she couldn't admit it.

There was silence in the room and Lee didn't push it. He simply held her. Eventually Kara's tight grip on him loosened, but she still kept her arms wrapped around his back, still kept her face buried in the warmth of his neck. She could still smell him, could still feel his heart beating in his chest.

"I read the logs."

She wasn't surprised.

He sighed. "Quite a bit happened out there. A lot for two months."

He wasn't wrong, and she didn't contradict him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head. "No. Not now. I - I just can't."

She felt Lee nod, felt the press of his lips as he kissed her temple. "You still need rest, Kara. From what I could tell you barely slept out there."

He wasn't wrong about that either and she kept her silence. In a matter of minutes, Kara felt the shift as Lee reached over and pulled the blankets back. Moving her, he tried to place her on the bunk, but Kara kept her arms around him.

He stilled. "I'll stay, Kara, if that's what you want. Okay?"

She nodded and then untangled herself from him, keeping one hand in his the entire time they got situated. Minutes later, she was lying on her side with Lee's solid body spooned behind her, his arm over her waist, their hands twined together.

Resting his chin in the crook of her neck, he whispered, "Just get some sleep. Everything's going to be fine."

She nodded, unable to trust herself to speak. Gods, she wanted that to be true. Pulling his arm tighter about her, Kara snuggled back into his warm form and drifted off.

-- --

_Thus shall it come to pass …_

_Kara was intent on her painting. Red paint covered her arms, her face, her hands, but she kept at it, making the gas planet with the rings larger, more opaque. The brush kept moving over the same patch of hull, once, twice, three times – back and forth. More paint, she needed more red paint._

_The children of the one reborn shall find their own country …_

_The baseship looked like a comet. Its hull was white, translucent and Kara painted it delicately. In contrast to how she had swabbed on the red paint for the planet, she used soft, gentle strokes for the baseship and its ion trail as it orbited the gas giant._

_You are the harbinger of death, Kara Thrace._

_She could make no sense of the star field before her. Kara could not see a pattern; could not hear her way. There was no sound, no music, no melody, just the monotonous droning of the Hybrid, spouting its nonsense. Telling Kara she would destroy them – just as she'd always known she would._

_You will lead them all to their end._

Kara sat up in bed, panting, skin covered in a fine layer of sweat, heart nearly beating out of her chest. Unlike before when she'd awoken slowly and at peace in Lee's rack, she was now panicked, terrified and her mind spun with images and words and prophecies she could not understand.

Rising quickly, she scanned the room, finding it empty. Lee had left. She didn't know where he was or why he was gone. She didn't know what she could have done while she was sleeping to push him away. Had she uttered Sam's name or Leoben's? Had she lashed out in her dream and hit him? Had she ruined the last solid relationship she had?

Kara scratched at her arms, smoothing her palms over the jagged red marks before scratching again. She felt awkward, out of place, she felt alien again, attached to these surroundings and this time by a thin thread.

She needed to find Earth.

Her eyes roamed the room hurriedly, looking for paint. Not finding any, she reached Lee's desk, searching for paper and pen. With a few pieces in hand, Kara retreated to the darkest corner of the room and crouched there, sketching out all she could remember on the borrowed bits of parchment.

-- --

There were quite a few things Lee liked about being a politician. Every civilian in the Fleet thinking he was their own, personal sounding board for the most mundane of issues, however, was not one of them.

He hurried back to his room, upset that he'd had to leave Kara for so long. He had just slipped out to get some food – he hadn't meant to be gone for more than fifteen minutes, but now, almost an hour later, he was rushing back, hoping she was still asleep and wouldn't even notice he'd left.

Of course, she hadn't explicitly asked him to stay, Lee knew that. But Kara rarely if ever said the words. She was an action type of girl. Her refusal to let go of him as they'd embraced earlier might as well have been a shout across the heavens. She didn't want to be alone, and Lee was hopeful that even more than that, she wanted to be with him.

Balancing the tray of food on his arm, he keyed in his security code and entered his quarters. Pausing a moment to let his eyes adjust to the dim light, he placed the tray down on his desk, shrugging back out of his suit jacket.

In a few steps he was beside the bunk, its emptiness causing his heart to race. She wouldn't have just left, he knew that. At least he thought he did.

"… it shall come to pass … the children of the one reborn … find their own country … it's here, it has to be here …"

Lee heard the soft mutterings and froze, his eyes searching the recesses of the room for the source of the noise. Finally, he found her, her body curled into a tight ball as she murmured to herself and wrote hurriedly across pieces of paper scattered before her. He hesitantly took a step forward.

"Kara?"

She paused for a second but did not lift her face to meet his gaze and then went back to mumbling, her hand moving quickly, the scratch of the pencil harsh in the quiet.

Lee took another step forward and another, trying to get close enough to better understand what she was saying. The words made no sense and he wondered if perhaps this might be what the Hybrid had sounded like. He'd read the report, read the gibberish Helo and the others had reported on. He knew there was deeper meaning there, knew there had to be, but he chose to ignore it – chose to disregard the Cylons and their notion of destiny.

The destiny that insisted Kara Thrace was a harbinger of death.

Unable to see much, Lee reached out and flicked on a table lamp, the small circle of buttery light illuminating Kara's makeshift workspace. He stopped focusing on the work before her and instead allowed his eyes to roam her body. She looked frazzled, so much more upset then when she'd awoken before and his heart ached.

Kneeling before her, Lee reached out his hand, covering hers, the one holding the pencil and stilling her movement. "Kara, look at me."

She shook her head once, but did not move away from him. "… a thing that does not exist cannot be seen … cannot be felt … cannot be hurt … heading one-three-seven carom four-four-eight … sector eighteen … course correction … one more course correction."

"Kara." He willed his voice to stay steady, willed his insides to stop shaking. "Kara, look at me. I'm right here."

She paused for another moment, going absolutely still and silent. She released a heavy sigh, one that seemed to deflate her entire body and Lee watched intently. He could see now the red scratches on her arms, ones that had not been there before and he swore silently. He shouldn't have left.

Squeezing her hand just a tad, he called again, "Kara?"

With a sharp inhalation, Kara straightened, fixing her cloudy hazel eyes to his blue. "Lee?" She stared at him, uncertainty and fear radiating through her gaze, through her body, through the hand he held.

"Do you know where you are?"

She nodded, trapping her lower lip between her teeth, eyes darting about the room. "I thought that …" She gazed down once again, seeing the mess she'd made of his paperwork. "I'm sorry. I had to write it down."

He smiled softly. "It's okay." He swallowed hard and then asked, "Are you okay?"

Kara returned his smile with a faint one of her own, but he could tell she was still scared, still uncertain and the small shake of her head confirmed it. Rising, he stepped over the work she'd done and sat at her side. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders just as she instinctively turned into his body. "I had a nightmare," she whispered by way of explanation and Lee only nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He knew pushing Kara for answers could be dangerous, but he wanted to be sure she knew he was willing to listen – if she was willing to talk.

Her heavy sigh conveyed her exhaustion. "Not now, there's too much to explain."

Lee nodded again, willing to let it lie. "How about some food then?"

Kara pulled away and made an adorable face that left Lee no choice but to kiss her. It was a light kiss, barely a brush of his lips to hers, but the sigh of content that escaped her mouth told him it had been the right thing to do.

"It depends," she told him, eyes twinkling as he rose and offered her a helping hand. "What'd ya got?"

Waving grandly towards the desk, he bowed slightly at the waist and smiled big. "Only the best Colonial One has to offer."

Kara's face twisted, but she still smiled. "I'm only saying yes, because I know it's gotta be better than the slop we eat on Galactica."

"I wouldn't count on it."

Kara chuckled softly at his quip and Lee felt the tension in his chest lessen. Stepping over to the desk, he pulled out his own chair. "For you, madam."

"Such a gentleman," Kara murmured, giving him a wink that went straight to his groin. Before settling herself into the chair, she pressed another kiss to his mouth, this one deeper and more intense than his of only a moment before. Then, as if knowing she'd worked him into a state, she pulled back with a satisfying smack and plopped herself down in the seat.

"You are a terrible tease, Lieutenant," he murmured into her hair, pressing a kiss to her scalp before rounding the desk and pulling over a chair for himself.

"So I've been told." She smiled again and then dug in, pulling one of the plates of food in front of her. It was far from haute cuisine, but Lee knew she'd barely eaten out there, if her lack of muscle definition was any indication.

He found himself staring as she attacked her food with relish, drinking back the water he'd procured before taking another bite of what passed for mashed potatoes. She was really here – he almost couldn't believe it. She was really here, in his quarters and she had really kissed him and he had really held her as she slept.

"Lee, shake your head. Your eyes'll get stuck."

He did as she commanded almost without realizing it. "Sorry," he mumbled, turning back to his own food so as not to get caught staring once again.

"Hey."

The gentle tone to her voice surprised him and Lee brought his eyes back to her face. She reached a hand across the table and he took it, grateful for the touch of her – for the opportunity to touch her. "Thank you – for before."

He nodded, but was afraid to speak. His mixed emotions had lodged themselves in his throat. He wondered it was possible to be hopeful and wary all at once. "Anytime, Kara," he murmured, squeezing the hand he held even harder.

She nodded back, a smile on her face that reached her eyes, making those hazel depths swim with warmth. He held the gaze for a moment more and then went back to eating – with one hand. His other was still wrapped around Kara's and he wasn't letting it go anytime soon.

"So, how much longer do I have on my get outta jail free card?"

He glanced to his watch, the time they had together burned into his brain. "A little over seven hours."

She grinned again, this one more mischievous and Lee felt a smile of his own tugging at this lips. "What would you say to a few hands of Triad?"

His smile deepened. "You mean a few hands of you taking my money?" She chuckled again, but nodded. "I'd say, bring it on."

This time she laughed outright and Lee reveled in the sound.

-- --

Lee shuffled the cards a fourth time, his eyes focused on Kara. She had won the last hand, of course, but instead of doing her usual victory dance, her eyes had drifted to the window. She'd been staring at the stars since he had collected the deck.

She seemed so far from him now. At this moment, they were only a few feet apart, but Lee knew her mind, her spirit, were drifting. He felt an irrational need to circle the table between them and hold her, keep her grounded to him, to now. But he knew it wouldn't work. Kara was as ephemeral as the stars beyond his window and trying to hold onto her was a futile task. Lee had figured that out in the two months she'd been gone. He couldn't possess Kara Thrace; he could only love her and cherish her and hope the strength of his feelings was enough to keep her with him.

Setting the cards aside, Lee leaned forward, hands clasped on the table. "I saw Gaeta this morning."

Kara nodded, a low hum issuing from her lips. It took her a full minute to speak. "He lost the leg, didn't he?"

"The lower half, yes. The doc's got him on some pretty good meds, but I'm not quite sure he's himself. Not yet."

She sighed this time, a heavy, tired sound that permeated the room. Turning her eyes to him, they held a mirthless twinkle. "He's not and he probably won't ever be again. None of us will."

There was bitterness in her voice and for the first time in a while Lee saw that Kara's spirit was flagging. Even before, when no one had believed her, Kara had believed in herself and that conviction had kept her going. It appeared to have finally waned.

He reached across the table and squeezed both her hands in one of his. It brought her eyes to his face and he offered her the warmest smile he could muster. "He'll be all right. You all will."

She shook her head again, but held his gaze even as he saw the rebuttal forming on her lips. "No, Lee. We won't. I've all but convinced your father and the president to make an alliance with the Cylons. The Cylons!" She rose abruptly as if the absurdity of the statement had propelled her from her seat. "How can we possibly survive that unscathed? Untouched? After all they've done …"

She paced away from him, standing before the window, arms crossed over her chest, eyes fixed again on the stars. "Maybe I really am going to end it all."

Lee rose quickly and went to her. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he turned her to face him, cupping her cheeks in his hands so she had no choice but to look at him. "That's not true, Kara. The Hybrid was wrong."

Her eyes flashed with sadness and Lee felt it in his bones. "I don't know, Lee. Maybe this is the special destiny my mama was always preparing me for. I've certainly destroyed plenty in my day. What's the human race compared to Zak or Sam?" She paused for a moment, her face devoid of all life, eyes hollow, cheeks pale. "Or you?"

He reached for her hand and pressed it firmly over his heart. "I am right here, Kara. You haven't destroyed me. I'm fine."

"I destroyed us though, didn't I?" It was barely more than a whisper, but Lee heard it and felt his heart thud against his ribcage. She held his gaze for a second more and then quickly dropped her eyes, a small sniffle audible in the sudden quiet. "I destroyed us, Lee, I did. I know that. And then I destroyed Sam and now, I'm going to destroy – everything."

Lee pulled her close, her body stiff and unwilling in his embrace, but he didn't care. He smoothed his hands down her back and then held her tight, face buried in her hair. "Kara, there's still an _us_. There's still an _us_," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple, her scalp, her forehead before again pressing his cheek to hers.

She still wouldn't relax in his embrace, but Lee held firm, willing her to believe him.

-- --

Kara closed her eyes hard against Lee's whispers, wishing she knew how to shut him out. Even after two months of separation, after two months of fending for herself, Kara felt her resolve faltering. She would let Lee in again, she knew she would. She shouldn't; she would only hurt him once more, but if Kara Thrace's destiny was to destroy mankind it seemed it was also her destiny to start with Lee.

"I don't want it," she breathed, arms still slack at her sides. Lee stiffened against her and she could feel his quickened pulse. Clearing her throat, she tried to better order her thoughts. "I don't want this destiny, Lee. I don't want to be special."

"I know." He squeezed her tight once more and then leaned back slightly, his blue eyes meeting her hazel. Gods, she had missed those eyes. Sam's were blue, but they weren't the same; even in the throes of passion, his gaze never held the awe or love for her that Lee's did. Sam Anders was a good man, had been a good husband – but he wasn't Lee Adama.

Those beautiful blue eyes flicked down to her mouth and back again and Kara felt her stomach tightening in anticipation. If he kissed her, she might just forget this insanity for a few minutes, a few hours. If he kissed her, she might find it even more difficult to walk off this ship when her time was up. If he kissed her, she just might admit that she still loved him and, more importantly, that she needed him.

If he kissed her, Kara feared she might lose something – and gain everything.

Slowly, she allowed her own eyes to trace the curves of his face, the bridge of his nose, the slant of his cheeks, the pillows of his lips. Hesitantly, she lifted a hand to his face, her fingers tracing what her eyes had already memorized. He stayed still, his hands resting around the small of her back, keeping them close, connected, but giving her room.

Flattening her palm to his cheek, Kara released a sigh and closed her eyes. "I missed you," she whispered.

Then Lee's lips were on hers, his soft touch gentle, but demanding and Kara surrendered to it. More than earlier in the day, she let go of all the pain and fear and just kissed him. She allowed herself to stop thinking and let Lee be the strong one, the brave one, the one in control. She was so very tired of being all those things.

He pulled his mouth from hers, resting their foreheads together and answered her softly, "I missed you, too."

"I don't know if I can do this, Lee." She'd admitted it. Kara marveled at the novelty. "I don't. The Demetrius … and Sam and Gaeta and Leoben …" She couldn't finish and instead, she took a step closer to him, burrowing into his warmth and the protection of his arms as much as possible. "I know I'm supposed to be Starbuck, but I'm just so tired."

"You can do anything, Kara." He pressed a kiss to her temple and then just held her and Kara sighed heavily. She hadn't felt this safe in a very long time. "I believe in you."

She sighed softly and then brushed her lips against his neck. He shivered slightly at the touch, but just tightened his hold on her and Kara didn't mind in the least. If that meant she was a little weak, so be it.

They stayed locked in the embrace for untold minutes. Kara was close to falling asleep standing up, but she didn't care. She wanted to stay like this, with Lee, for as long as possible. At least until her impromptu free time was up. But her body had other ideas and Kara yawned, a jaw-cracking gesture that required her to pull back from Lee and cover her mouth.

"Wow. That was impressive." She wanted to smack him for being smart, but one look at the small smirk on his face was enough to have her heart beating faster all over again.

Placing her hands on his chest, she returned his grin and asked, "So, how much time do we have?"

Lee checked his watch, noticing how Kara was subtly shifting him back towards the bunk. "Five hours."

Her smile deepened. "Perfect. Plenty of time."

The back of Lee's knees hit the rack and he sat heavily, finding his lap full of Kara seconds later. As she began to work the buttons of Lee's shirt, she felt his body tense beneath her. "Uh, Kara?"

She kissed him by way of answer, abandoning her task to fully possess his mouth with her own. He responded instantly, hands roaming over her back, infusing her with warmth through her tanks. Leaving him breathless, she pulled back again and met his confused expression.

"I'd really like to frak you senseless right now, Lee," she told him, not missing the way his eyes darkened with desire. "But-"

"But you still need rest." He seemed to read her mind and Kara wondered why that didn't completely set her on edge.

"Is that totally lame?" She grimaced, moving off his lap and shrugging out of her uniform pants, leaving her again in her underwear and tanks. As Lee finished removing his shirt, she frowned at him. "It's lame, isn't it?"

He smiled and reached for her hand, pulling her back beside him. "No, Kara. It's not." She sighed, not convinced, which Lee must have realized because he leaned forward and pressed a long, lingering kiss to her cheek.

"Besides," he whispered hotly, lips rubbing over her skin. "When we do make love, five hours won't be nearly long enough."

Kara felt a spike of desire shoot through her and she turned widened eyes to Lee, having only a moment to register his teasing gaze before pressing her lips back to his. She kissed him hard, mouth open, tongue exploring, hands caressing his wonderfully bare skin. He returned her kiss with just as much ardor, pulling her back into his lap and touching her as much as possible.

One long make-out session later, tired and sated for now, Kara rested her head against Lee's chest, his arm wrapped around her shoulders while one of hers wrapped around his waist. She had molded herself to his side, one leg tangled between his, her hair splayed over his shoulder and chest. She was warm and comfortable and content for the first time in a long time.

Lee's free hand gently stroked down her arm and Kara felt her eyes closing, lulled by the soft touch. As his hand entangled with hers, Kara held firm and whispered, "Lee?"

"Yeah?"

"How soon do you think we can convince your father to let me do this again?"

His laugh rumbled through his chest and into her body and moments later, Kara Thrace was asleep.

-- --


	4. Goodbye, again

A/N: Here is the next installment in my on-going fic of "missing" scenes for Season 4. This has massive spoilers for _Sine Qua Non_.

Title: **Goodbye, again**

Pairing: Lee/Kara

Summary: Lee knew he had about a million things to do, none of them involving staying on the Galactica for another minute or speaking with his best-friend-slash-CAG-slash-sometimes-lover. But he found he didn't want to do any of the other million things. He wanted to do this.

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own it – although, I guarantee if I did, Lee would never take off that maroon shirt (well, okay, he would), but if he needed to be wearing clothes, he'd be wearing that shirt all the time from now on and appoint Kara as his military advisor, ensuring she was on Colonial One from here on out. … Just saying …

-- --

He watched the Raptor depart, feeling a lump in his throat that he did his best to banish. His father would be fine. The man had been flying patrols and shooting down Cylons before Lee was even a twinkle in his eye. He could no doubt sit still, in the middle of deep space, by himself and wait for the President's wayward Baseship to appear.

"Hey."

Lee turned abruptly at the soft sound, blinking once as he registered Kara's familiar face. She gave him a small smile and took a step closer. "You okay?"

He nodded, inhaling a deep breath through his nostrils before slowly releasing it. "Yeah, fine. Just, you know, interim president of the twelve colonies."

Kara's eyes widened slightly before her hand flew to her mouth. Lee saw the spark in her eyes and knew she was holding back a raucous laugh. "It's okay to laugh, Kara. I know how ridiculous it is."

At his permission, Kara bent at the waist with her hands braced on her knees, and brayed loud and long. It was one of her old laughs, one she'd normally let lose during a particularly rowdy game of triad or as a result of one of Helo's bawdy jokes. Her entire body was shaking she was laughing so hard and the sound echoed around the bay, drawing odd stares from crewmen and other pilots. Lee simply gave them all a tight smile and slight nod. She'd tire out eventually.

As two minutes passed into three, Lee took a step closer and bent so his face was near hers. "Okay, Starbuck. I think I get the point."

She met his gaze, eyes swimming with tears of joy, face flushed and Lee couldn't help but return her grin. They'd had so little to laugh about lately – and, in truth, it had been quite some time since he'd heard her laugh at all.

Straightening, Kara placed a hand over her stomach, using the other to wipe away tears. "Oh, I gotta thank you for that, Apollo. I haven't laughed that hard in a good long while."

He inclined his head, still smiling. "Glad to oblige. But you do know it's the truth, right?"

Her eyes widened to the size of saucers and Kara stared for a full minute, making Lee decidedly uncomfortable.

"Uh, Kara?"

His voice seemed to bring her back to the present and Kara punched lightly on his upper arm, turning away and heading for the ready room. "Quit playing around."

"I'm not playing, Kara."

He followed her, knowing he had about a million things to do, none of them involving staying on the Galactica for another minute or speaking with his best-friend-slash-CAG-slash-sometimes-lover. But he found he didn't want to do any of the other million things. He wanted to do this.

Kara was already at the board, marker in hand, filling out the schedule as he entered. He shut the hatch and walked to the front of the room. It was amazing how familiar the space was to him – how even though he'd been absent from it for a few months now, he could still recall every briefing, every heated word, every shared laugh, every one of Kara's damned cigars stinking up the joint.

He smiled at the memory and then turned his attention back to Kara. She looked like a model of military discipline, hair pulled back, dress blues freshly laundered and pressed. She was still skinnier than he liked to see and the dark circles under her eyes he'd noticed a few days before were still present, perhaps slightly diminished, but still there. He liked that even less.

She kept filling in the board, either impervious to his inspection or unwilling to acknowledge it. With a sigh, Lee took a seat in the front and decided to wait until she addressed him.

It took four minutes and thirty-one seconds.

"So, Mr. President. What brings you to Galactica?"

Her voice had a slightly teasing lilt to it, one he would have recognized anywhere. "Well, aside from trying and failing to stop my father from undertaking this suicide mission, I thought it best I speak with Tigh, make sure he's going to recognize my authority."

Kara nodded, writing down another name. "Well, if he doesn't you could always hold a gun to his head."

Lee's eyes snapped to her face and he caught the smirk on her lips. "Ha, ha, Captain. Very funny."

She shrugged and chuckled softly before making the final addition to the board. Stepping back, she admired her work, scanning the names. Lee knew the procedure – he'd done it a thousand times as CAG. It was good to see Starbuck so at ease.

"How are you feeling?"

She stiffened slightly at the question and turned away from him, placing the clipboard with the schedule and briefing agenda back on the podium. Lee waited and watched as she turned back to face him, hands behind her back, eyes to the floor. "Fine, Mister President. Doc gave me a clean bill of health once we got back on the Demetrius."

Lee didn't like the formality of her speech, but he let it slide. He could care less about her physical well-being, although knowing she'd been to see Cottle did put his mind at ease – he wanted to know about _her_. About the nightmares, the vivid ones she'd been having – the ones that sent her crawling to the corners of dark rooms and murmuring incoherently.

"Kara, come on. How are you, really?"

She shrugged, toeing her boot against the decking and it took Lee everything he had not to cross the small distance between them and shake her for answers.

"Kara?"

She lifted her face to meet his eyes and simply stared. "Mister President, I believe you have far more important concerns, especially in light of recent events, than the well-being of one Viper pilot."

Oh, Lee wanted to hit her for that statement, but he immediately squelched the urge. He had vowed once Kara returned that he'd never hit her again and he was going to keep that promise. However, that didn't mean he still couldn't express his anger.

Rising, he crossed the room and was in front of her in three long strides. Taking her by the shoulders, he kept his hold firm, but not tight – if she really wanted to pull away, he'd let her. "Cut it out, Kara. We were – friends-" He found it hard to get the word out – they were so much more and they both knew it, but he was afraid what admitting it right now would mean. He didn't know if either of them was ready for that confession. "Interim president or not, I still care about you. You know that. So, I'm asking, how are you?"

Kara's hazel eyes met his gaze and Lee stared back. He imagined he could see a few different emotions swimming in those brown depths, and he wondered which one would surface. He imagined seeing defiance, stubbornness, denial and fear. He imagined even more avidly seeing love and vulnerability.

He wondered if the Quorum would remove him from office for delusions of grandeur.

"Pass the word, President Adama to the flight deck. President Adama, please report to the flight deck."

The page snapped Kara back to the present and she stepped back from him easily. "That should be your shuttle, Mister President. You don't want to miss it."

Lee had always known there was a reason he hated responsibility.

"This isn't over, Kara."

She smiled softly and then raised her eyes back to his and shrugged. "It is for now."

Lee's disappointment at being unable to stay must have translated to his features, because Kara did the most surprising thing. She stepped forward and kissed him. It wasn't a grand kiss or even a very long one, but it was enough to tell him she would be okay – they both would.

"I'll be back as soon as I can manage it." He made the promise; she knew he wouldn't break his word.

"Good, because I don't think I'll be taking any field trips to Colonial One any time soon. We're having a hard enough time flying a CAP without the CAG going AWOL."

"I'll be back soon." If he had to come to her, he would do it. Lee was interim president now, surely he could make a dozen excuses as to why he needed to visit Galactica. Actually, frak excuses – he was president, he didn't have to justify his decisions to anybody.

That thought made him smile.

"Go on, get out of here. I've got a briefing to prep for." Kara half-heartedly pushed him towards the hatch, but he grabbed her hand from his chest and held it before she could take it back.

Kissing her palm, he held her gaze, even as he noticed the tension return to her posture. "You know why he did it?"

Her brow furrowed and Kara took a step closer. "Why who did what?"

"My father." Lee tightened his hold on her hand, squeezing it gently. "Do you know why he decided to stay behind?"

"So he didn't end up risking the whole fleet on a fool's errand?"

Kara was always pragmatic to a fault. "That was one reason, the military reason. But do you know why _he_ did it?"

He stared at her beautiful face, watching as the small crease above her nose worked itself out and her eyes focused on his. He felt the slight shift in the room and took a step closer, worried she might run, worried she knew what he was about to say and was afraid to hear it.

"No." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Because he can't live without her." Lee watched her reaction, watched as she swallowed hard and her eyes clouded over for a moment with just the slightest film of tears. Rapidly, she blinked them away and cleared her throat. She tried to extract her hand from his, but Lee didn't let it go; using his other hand to cup her cheek, bringing their faces within inches.

"I know what that feels like," he whispered, noting how her eyes widened once more before he kissed her. This was a long kiss, a deep kiss, one that was even better than some they had shared a few nights before on Colonial One. It wasn't desperate, wasn't a diversionary tactic. It was truthful – it was a promise.

Lee pulled back after a moment and rested his forehead against hers. He could hear her breathing, could feel the gentle rush of her breath against his cheek. As it had been every day since he'd been back, he wished duty and responsibility didn't keep taking him from the once place he wanted to be – with her.

"Pass the word, President Adama, your shuttle is ready. President Adama, report to the flight deck."

He sighed and then pulled back, pressing a lingering kiss to her forehead. "I'll be back," he whispered against her skin and she nodded slightly, squeezing the hand he held before releasing it. He backed slowly out of the room, only turning once he reached the hatch and hurrying out before his resolve failed completely.

It seemed so ridiculously unfair that he had to say goodbye to her – again.


	5. Still Connected

Lee was tired. Not a big surprise – apparently, leading the twelve colonies, even when reduced to just over thirty-nine thousand survivors was still a really big job.

And tiring.

With a sigh, Lee rubbed his hands over his face, trying to make the words before him less blurry. It didn't work. With another sigh, Lee rose and admitted defeat. He wasn't going to get anything else done tonight. Best to leave it for five hours, before he'd be expected back at his desk.

Backing out of his office, Lee took the five steps to his private quarters which weren't really all that private. No one bothered him here, Tory and the armed marines saw to that, but still, Lee was a little unnerved by the lack of privacy. There was no door, no hatch, no reinforced metal. Just a thin curtain – the only thing between himself and the Fleet.

He didn't care. He was too tired to care. Stripping out of his suit, he slowly unbuttoned his shirt. Down to just tanks and boxers, Lee crawled into bed, grateful for the coolness of the sheets against his skin and the opportunity to be horizontal for a bit. At least the aching in his head lessened when he was in a darkened room with his eyes closed.

And then the phone rang.

Despite his immediate fear that something terrible had happened, Lee felt a wave of annoyance. Was it too much to ask that the leader of the colonies be allowed a couple hours of sleep a night? Seriously, was he asking for the moon here?

Sighing heavily, Lee reached for the phone, glad the cord stretched far enough so he didn't have to get out of bed. "Yeah?"

There was silence for a few seconds and Lee wondered if there were still teenagers in the Fleet who thought crank-calling the president would be fun.

And then, he could think of only one person who actually would. And he smiled.

"Hello?" There was still no answer. Lee used his authoritative tone. "I'm hanging up this phone in-"

"_Take the stick outta your ass, Apollo."_

And there she was – his girl, his Starbuck. He could tell she was smiling and it made the tension in his chest lessen just a tad. "Forgive me, but when I get called in the middle of a sleep cycle, I tend to get a little cranky."

"_Like you were asleep."_

He wondered for a split second how she could have possibly known that and then dismissed the thought. She knew him better than anyone. "Touché."

There was more silence, but Lee didn't mind. He could hear her breathing over the phone, the crappy connection made sure of it. But despite the static-laced rasp, it was the sweetest sound he'd ever heard.

"_So."_

Lee just smiled wider. "So."

"_Whatcha doin'?"_

The playful tone in Kara's voice was too much and Lee barked out a laugh before stifling it, worried he might draw a guard's attention. He had no desire to explain the goofy grin on his face. "Well, I was trying to sleep, but I have a feeling it's not on the agenda for tonight."

"_Ooh, sleepin', huh? What are you wearing?"_

"Kara." He sighed, but it was his normal "Starbuck-is-acting-like-a-brat-and-I-have-to-pretend-to-disapprove" sigh. It didn't mean anything and by her response, he knew she could tell.

"_Aw, c'mon, Lee. Give me something here."_

"Fine." He sighed again and then smiled. Turning over onto his side, he pressed the phone tight to his ear and murmured, "I'm not wearing anything."

There was silence again and Lee grinned. He was pretty sure the excess static on the line could be attributed to Starbuck getting a little hot under the collar. He was fine with that.

"_You're lying." _She breathed the words, making them barely audible. _"I know you, Lee. You are not sleeping on Colonial One, in the President's bed, naked."_

Lee made a face. "Well, when you put it like that, ew. We did change the sheets, you know?" She giggled softly and Lee again lowered his voice. "But I am."

Again, he was met with a static-filled silence and Lee waited. He could picture her, sitting in her office on Galactica, wearing tanks and BDUs, maybe even smoking one of her last cigars, hair loose with her feet propped up on her desk, phone held to her ear; he could picture the slight blush that had colored her cheeks at his admission. The flush that would move down her neck and cover her chest, the slight pink tint that would travel under the edge of her tanks into territory he had been forbidden to explore for far too long.

He shifted slightly, trying to find a new comfortable position now that the mental image of Kara had caused his body to become aroused. It always did.

"You still there?" He hoped she blamed his slightly husky tone on the connection.

"_Yeah."_ A pause, then, _"Do you want to know what I'm wearing?"_

Lee's body stiffened, his cock aching at the sound of her voice. He had known going in she wouldn't back down from this challenge, but now he regretted started something that had no hope of resolution. But playing could be fun. "Absolutely."

-- --

Kara bit her lip and took a deep breath. She could not believe she was even contemplating doing this. Forget that it was Lee on the other end of the line – he was also the frakkin' president! There had to be laws against this sort of thing.

Kara smirked. She really hated rules.

"Is this a secure line?"

She heard him laugh and knew it was deep and throaty, not just jumbled by the bad connection. _"I _am_ the president, Kara. I'm pretty sure we're good."_

"We better be." It was an empty threat. She didn't give a damn who heard them. She had given up pretense right around the time she'd returned from the dead.

"Well, then, _Mister_ President." She was pretty sure she heard him groan and Kara filed that away for later; men were always suckers for a little ego boost. "I think it's only fair to tell you, I'm only wearing my shorts and sports bra."

"_Did you –"_ Lee paused and cleared his throat and Kara found her heart beating like a frakkin' drum in her chest. How could this be so exciting? He was literally miles away, on a different ship, but her body was humming. _"Did you go for a run?"_

So, he liked her sweaty, huh? Kinky, but Kara could go with it. "Oh, yeah, I did. I'm all sticky and sweaty. My bra's like a second skin." She allowed a slight pant to her tone and added, "I'm all hot, Lee."

"_Now, you're just messing with me."_

Messing with him or not, Kara heard the shift in his tone and knew that he had to be nursing one hell of a hard-on at the moment. "Maybe, maybe not. I guess you'll never know."

"_I want to."_

She wasn't sure if he meant to say the words aloud, but she didn't really have time to ruminate on it as he asked, _"If you're sweaty, why don't you take a shower?"_

"The phone won't make it to the shower, flyboy," she purred, moving her hand into her hair and twirling a few of the strands. "Besides, I'd much rather talk to you."

"_Kara."_ She stifled a laugh, amused by his obvious discomfort, but also a little unnerved by it. They hadn't had more than five minutes together since she'd returned to the fleet – okay, five minutes and twelve hours, but that hadn't been about the two of them re-exploring their physical relationship. It had been about her getting some sleep and finding the focus to fight another day.

Maybe she owed him for that. She doubted he would agree, but Kara figured it was one on a list of many favors she still had to repay.

"_Oh, Gods, I really wish I could see you right now."_

His declaration snapped her back to the present and her boots hit the deck. "Really?"

"_Are you kidding?"_

"Well, then, tell me, Mister President." Kara's body was humming again, and she smoothed her free palm on her pant leg trying to ease her nerves. "What would you do if you could?"

-- --

Okay, so he'd fallen asleep and this was a dream – that had to be it. There was no other explanation for why Kara would have just offered him a thinly-veiled invitation for phone sex. Right?

"What?"

"_Come on, Lee. It can't have been that long."_ Kara's teasing voice shot straight to his groin and he stifled a hiss. _"I asked what you'd do if you could see me right now?"_

Lee swallowed hard. He'd started this, he was fully aware of that. So, he'd finish it.

Rolling over onto his back, he stared at the ceiling, conjuring the image of Kara back to his mind. This time she was in shorts and a sweaty sports bra, as she'd purported. Her blonde hair was damp from the run, the tips a slightly darker shade of brown. Her eyes were wide and luminous, like they always were after a run and Lee traced a bead of sweat as it skidded down her neck towards her collarbone and then finally fell into the valley between her breasts.

"_I'm waiting, Apollo."_ Her breathy whisper reminded him this little game would be far more fun with two.

"If I could see you right now," Lee began, willing his voice to steady itself. "First, I'd kiss you."

"_Boring,"_ she sighed and Lee felt his manhood flare with offense.

"You didn't let me finish, Kara." He took another deep breath. "I'd walk towards you and I'd reach for your hand, your left hand, and take it in mine." Lee could remember the feel of her skin under his fingers. It was soft, but not cloyingly so. The pads of her fingers were calloused from the ridiculous amounts of manual labor they did. He'd always loved the way they'd grazed his skin, tracing from his shoulders to his chest to his ribs to – No, not yet.

"And I'd pull you up so you were standing in front of me and place both my hands on your waist, so I could feel your skin and then I'd back you up into the nearest wall so that all I could feel was you, all you could feel was me, pressing into you and I'd cup your cheeks, Kara. I'd look into your eyes and then I'd kiss you." He closed his eyes and imagined her lips. "I'd bite at your lower lip first, because when I do you make this little mewling sound in the back of your throat that drives me crazy. And then I'd press my lips to yours, and I'd breathe you in." He inhaled and swore he could smell her scent around him. "And I'd bite at your lip again, but you'd be surprised and open your mouth a little and then I'd thrust my tongue in, Kara. I'd wrap it around yours and wrap my arms around your waist and make it so there was no air between us."

"_Leeee."_

Her extended moan caught him off guard and Lee fought back a groan as his cock ached, pulsing with a fresh wave of blood at the sound of her own arousal. He smirked smugly – and that was just a kiss.

"You want me to stop?" He couldn't believe how labored his breathing was.

"_Frak, no."_

Lee smiled.

-- --

"_I'd keep kissing you, Kara. And while I did, I'd move my hands up your back and into your hair. I'd move my lips down your throat and bite right over your pulse and I'd suck on your skin, Kara. Suck on it until I knew I'd marked you. And then I'd keep kissing down your chest until I got to the edge of your bra."_

Gods, it was too damn hot in her office. Kara clawed at her tanks, wishing for the first time that she was actually wearing just her bra and shorts. "Hang on a sec, Lee."

She put the phone down fast and stood, kicking off her boots and pants and pulling her tanks off over head. Now, in her bra and underwear, she sat back down and reached for the phone, unable to believe her hand was actually shaking. Oh, this was gonna be good.

"'Kay, I'm back."

"_Everything okay?"_

She smiled, glancing down at her new state of undress. "Yeah, just needed to get comfy. Now, I believe you were at my bra …"

-- --

Lee took Kara's momentary leave of absence to kick back his sheets and slide out of his boxers. His erection stood proud and Lee smirked. He really hoped that by the end of this evening, he'd be coming with Kara's name on his lips and her voice panting in his ear. It may not be her hands or body doing the actual work, but Lee would take what he could get … for now.

"'_Kay, I'm back."_

"Everything okay?" He'd thought things had been progressing nicely, but her abrupt request to pause had thrown him a bit.

"_Yeah, just needed to get more comfy."_ Lee could hear the grin in her voice and knew that regardless of what she was wearing before, she was now most definitely only wearing her bra and panties. _"Now, I believe you were at my bra …"_

Lee closed his eyes tight, fighting the urge to take himself in hand as he continued to tease her. Fisting his free hand into his sheets, he swallowed hard and continued. "I believe you're right." Her image was burned onto the back of his eyelids. She was reclining in her bunk now, spread out before him like Aphrodite herself. Lee leaned over her, staring into her hazel eyes that flared with every color of the universe and then slowly let his hands drift down her chest.

"Your breasts are absolutely perfect, Kara. Did you know that?" She inhaled sharply on the other end and encouraged, Lee pressed on. "I'd work my hand under the fabric and I'd cup them both, feel the weight of them in my hands. I'd palm them and then push up your bra, dragging my fingers up, pulling your arms up, so that I could slide the bra all the way off and throw it somewhere … anywhere."

Her chest would be heaving by now, Lee knew that. As much from her arousal as from his stare. Kara had a hard time with such unabashed scrutiny. He knew that too. He knew that she was much more accustomed to being devoured by her lovers, being consumed. She was not accustomed to being worshipped, being loved. The one time they had made love – well, the one night they had made love: Lee was still fairly young after all and his passion for her was never sated. That one night, he'd done everything he could to devour and worship her, consume and love her, every moment.

"Then I'd lean into you, Kara and I'd kiss your neck, right over the spot I marked before. And my hand would find your breast again and hold it, squeeze it until I'd take your nipple in my mouth. And I'd suck."

Kara's breathing was rapid and Lee heard her groan again. _"Frak, Lee. That's good."_

He imagined her touching herself, mimicking his words, following the path he'd mapped for her. "Where are your hands, Kara?"

A few pants and then, _"What?"_

"What are you doing, Kara? Right now."

-- --

Kara wasn't ashamed that she enjoyed her body – that when men were few and far between – or just few and not Lee – she had often pleasured herself, brought about her own release to kill the tension for another few days.

But admitting to Apollo that her hands had been roaming while he imagined a dozen delicious things to do to her seemed a bit … embarrassing somehow.

"_Where are they, Kara?"_ She bit her lip, staring down to see her free hand palming her breast, her nipple evident through the material of her bra as she had worked it into a hard peak while he spoke.

"Well, one of them is holding the phone," she admitted, mustering her courage. "And the other one is …"

"_Yeah?"_

"Rubbing my nipple. It's really hard, Lee."

She dropped her head back, not caring that it thunked against the top of her chair. She pinched again and the jolt of pain mixed with pleasure that shot to her core spiked her arousal. Gods, she was so hot. "Will you touch me, Lee?"

He groaned and she smiled. _"I'd keep sucking, Kara and then I'd switch to the other one. I'd bite down a bit, just the way you like and when I pulled away I'd pinch it, just – like – so."_ Kara's hand matched his words and she moaned again.

"Lee, I really wish you were still stationed on Galactica."

He laughed, a deep, throaty sound and Kara smiled. _"You and me both."_

His words jolted her back and Kara found her smile turning into a smirk. "Speaking of which, how you doing over there, Mister President?"

He hissed, the sound long and low over the phone. _"I'm doing okay."_

"Just okay, huh?" Kara knew he had to be worked into a state by now. "Anything I can do to make things better than okay?"

"_In a minute."_ Despite the obvious strain in his voice, he was determined. Kara liked that type of single-mindedness in a man. _"I'm not done with you yet."_

Kara moaned and moved her hand over her stomach, down towards her shorts.

-- --

Lee wondered what sort of Herculean strength had possessed him to turn down a verbal blow job from Kara. He could only hope it was a sign of character and not insanity.

Focusing back on her and the wanton image he'd conjured in his mind's eye, Lee smiled. "Where's your hand, Kara?"

She took a second to answer. _"On my stomach."_

So, she was in a bit of hurry, huh? Lee could handle that. "Are you still wearing your underwear?"

"_Yeah."_

"Are you still hot?"

She hissed. _"Frak, yeah."_

"Do you still want me to touch you?" Okay, now he'd become will power incarnate.

"_Lee …"_

"Say it, Kara." His own groin ached painfully with the need for release, but he knew hearing her ask would bring them both to the edge. "What do you want?"

"_I want …"_ She was panting loudly now and Lee reveled in the sound. _"I want … Frak, Lee, what I really want is to requisition a Viper and fly over to Colonial One."_

Lee's grin was again ridiculous; and once again, he didn't care. "Well, that's not going to happen tonight, so how about if I just ran my fingers over you? Right over your center, Kara, nice and slow. Can you do that? Can you imagine me doing that?"

Kara's shuddering breath was all the answer he needed. _"Mmmmm." _

"Slow, Kara, back and forth." He dropped his voice to a whisper, hoping it was still audible. "Now, stop for just a second, right over that aching spot. Are you there?"

"_Mmm, yeah … Lee." _

"Good. Now, take your thumb and press on it, Kara. Press right where you want it the most."

"_Ah, oh my Gods. Lee!"_

He couldn't take it anymore. Lee grabbed his own throbbing shaft and squeezed. His entire body shuddered at the hint of release and he allowed his hand to trail slowly up and down. His fingers found a bit of wetness at the tip and Lee spread the liquid along his cock.

"What are you doing, Kara?" It was almost impossible to keep the phone in one hand with his entire body shaking. But he wanted to hear her, even though the sound of her panting was almost too much. "Kara?"

"_Mmm, Lee, I really … Oh, I really want you, Lee."_

He almost exploded on the spot. "Gods … I want you too, Kara."

-- --

Kara tried to rein in her thoughts, she was still half-clothed and yet just the hint of release had made her mindless.

"You want me, Lee?" She tried to get her breathing under control, but knew it was pointless. "You want me to touch you?"

"_Frak, Kara."_

"Are you hard for me, Lee?" She knew he was, he probably had been since they started this dangerous little game.

"_Kara …" _

"Where's your hand, Lee?"

"_Where do you think?"_ he grunted and she managed a laugh.

"It's me, Lee. I'm the one holding you, squeezing you." She could picture him, spread out on his bunk, naked, his member erect, pulsing and hard. "It's me, kissing you, on your mouth, along your neck. My fingers are running up and over you. Can you feel that?" She heard a sharp intake of breath and then a sigh. "Can you feel me, Lee?"

"_Kara, I want to …"_

She knew what he wanted – she wanted the same frakkin' thing. But duty and space and about a dozen marines separated them, so Kara moved her fingers back to the edge of her panties and worked them inside, settling them against her wet curls. "Me too, Lee."

Kara could hear her own pants echoed back at her over the phone. She took the lapse in dialogue to press against her clit, working herself back into a frenzy with just a few well-placed touches. "I'm ready, Lee," she breathed, hearing him hiss in return. "I want you."

"_Kara …" _He panted once, twice and then grunted, _"Now."_

Kara plunged two fingers in at once, her back arching away from the chair, body tensing as it welcomed the intrusion. She held them there for a moment, and then started thrusting, adding her thumb to press against that delicious bundle of nerves that very few men knew what to do with.

Lee did.

"Ah, Lee."

"_Kara … Kara …"_

She kept up her rhythm, hurrying as she felt the tightening low in her belly. She would come hard, probably ruining her panties, but she didn't care. This was the best release she'd had in a while. "Almost there, Lee."

-- --

Lee had quickened his pace, the sound of Kara's breathy moans on the other end almost sending him over the edge at least half a dozen times. He could picture her, fingers buried in that sweet spot he longed to touch, twisting and moving, her body writhing as she got closer and closer to that second of bliss.

His erection was painfully hard and he could feel the build-up in his gut. He would come, all over his bed, and he didn't give a damn. "Come on, Kara. Come with me."

She hissed out and then moaned his name and it was the most erotic thing he'd ever heard. _"Leeee."_

His hand and thighs were drenched and Lee felt his body sink back into the mattress as the tension found its release. Breathless and boneless, he lay there panting, eyes still closed, Kara's ecstatic face forever burned into his mind danced in his memory. She would be lying there as well, eyes closed, lips parted, cheeks flushed, panting softly.

Then, she would moan, low and long and stretch languidly, rubbing her body along every inch of his overly sensitized one and she would sigh. Her eyes would open halfway and she'd smile. She'd smile at him, that sated smile that he got to see, the one he believed she only gave to him, because he knew she never looked any of the others in the eyes.

On cue, Lee heard her moan, his spent cock twitching slightly at the sound. Amazed he'd managed to keep a hold of the phone the entire time, Lee listened intently as she continued to moan, listened and imagined her stretching. He heard her sigh and when she next spoke he could hear the smile in her voice. _"Damn, Apollo. That was good."_

-- --

His warm chuckle sent a delicious tingle down her spine, but Kara was honestly too spent to truly appreciate it. She sat boneless for another moment, listening as Lee shuffled about on the other end, no doubt finding something to clean up with. Kara did the same, grabbing a rag from a pile at her feet and wiping her hand.

"_Gods, Kara, I can barely move."_

"I'm good, aren't I?"

He chuckled again and Kara smiled. She felt good, that was the truth, relaxed and satisfied in a way that had seemingly been out of her reach since the return. But her momentary euphoria was overshadowed by the fact that she was still alone. She and Lee still couldn't be together, not really.

She wasn't okay with that – not anymore.

"_Kara –"_

He had that serious tone in his voice and Kara worried what she'd do if he said something sentimental or sweet. She didn't normally get weepy about sex, but then again, her feelings for Lee were far from normal.

She could still cut him off at the pass. "You should get some sleep, Mister President."

She heard another sigh, this one far less contented than the one before. _"I probably should. And so should you, Captain."_

She grinned. "Sleep's overrated."

"_Kara."_

"I'm just kidding. I've been sleeping fine." That wasn't totally true, but she doubted Lee would call her on it. Especially now.

"_Get some rest, Kara. Okay?"_

"You too, Lee." The words were there, hanging between them and Kara had to bite her tongue to keep them at bay. "'Night."

"_Night." _

-- --

She hadn't made a move to hang up the phone and Lee took the extra seconds to listen to her breathe. "Kara?"

He heard her inhale and exhale; inhale, exhale, inhale. _"Yeah?"_

"The next time I see you, we're doing this for real."

She gasped audibly and Lee smiled. He liked knowing he could still throw Starbuck for a loop.

"_Lee?"_

His grin deepened. "Yeah?"

"_Is that a threat? Or a promise?"_

Speechless, Lee heard the line disconnect, the buzz of a dial tone blaring in his ear for a full minute before he had the presence of mind to actually hang it up.

Flopping back on his bed, he stared at the ceiling and grinned like a fool.

-- --


	6. In Earth's Shadow

If he hadn't known where she was, the fire would have been a pretty good indication. He waited until he heard the Raptor lift off again and then picked his way across the gray gravel, the bonfire acting as a beacon. Or maybe it was her. Maybe her spirit, her heart, her soul were acting as his homing device, his north star.

And maybe he'd let his romantic side run a little wild in the past week or so. He wanted to hope, but he found his optimism waning these days.

Hope was a dangerous commodity and one he had never truly appreciated. It was like every good thing, he supposed – never fully appreciated until it was gone. His father hadn't been wrong after the attacks to give them hope in the form of Earth, the form of a mission. Of course, his father, being a non-believer, had thought he'd get a little more mileage out of it. But no, Kara had seen to that.

Kara had died and then come back to them. She had single-handedly destroyed and restored Lee's hope. Now, she'd led them to Earth – their definition of Hope for the past three years. She'd come back in a shiny new Viper with a smile on her face and a promise – I've been to Earth.

She'd brought them here and now everyone really wished she'd just stayed dead. Everyone including her, if he had to guess.

Everyone except him.

He would take an irradiated slag heap any day over living another minute of his life without Kara Thrace.

He was close enough now that he could see her, sitting on a fallen piece of rubble. Her hair shone in the firelight, a blaze of yellow against the bigger burn of reds and oranges. He stopped for a minute and caught his breath. Knowing it was her, knowing she was this close made him a little giddy now. His body had always reacted strongly to her presence in the past, but now it was ten times worse. It was as if the deprivation of her had left him wanting and now whenever he saw her, his heart, mind and body were set to buzzing.

Lee took a deep breath, willed himself under control and took a few steps closer. He wasn't even in the circle of light cast by the fire when her quiet voice reached him. "What are you doing here, Lee?"

He kept approaching, finally standing just off her right shoulder, staring at the same flames as she. "Went to Galactica and my dad said you'd req'd a Raptor to come down here. Helo and Sharon were on CAP, so I asked them to swing by."

He knew it sounded ridiculous. He could hear the humor in her tone as she questioned, "Presidential privilege?"

He allowed the smile to show in his voice. "Something like that."

Silence again and Lee watched the flames lick the sky for a few more minutes before turning his attention to Kara. Her elbows rested on her knees and her face was hard. From what he could see of her in the glow of the fire, she was simply staring. He couldn't discern any recognizable emotions – her eyes weren't flashing with anger, her jaw wasn't set with annoyance, her body wasn't ramrod straight with tension. In general, she simply looked … indifferent?

Lee cocked his head. No, that wasn't it. He took a few steps closer, so close now that he could touch her, if he wanted – Gods, he wanted. But he wasn't sure about her, so he restrained himself and looked more closely. And that's when it hit him. He inhaled sharply. She didn't look indifferent.

She looked hopeless.

Shifting suddenly, Kara turned her body, keeping her back to him and asked softly, "Why are you here?"

He shrugged and focused back on the flames lest his posture give anything away. "Seemed like the thing to do."

She snorted, but didn't respond and so Lee tried to fill the gap. "That's quite the blaze."

This time Kara barked out a sharp laugh that hurt his ears. "Yeah, it's amazing how bright a fire you can get when you use the right kindling."

She nudged something at her feet with her boot and Lee's eyes honed in on it. Bending down, he reached for it and felt a sick twist curl in his gut. Glancing back to her, he caught her looking at him and his breath caught in his chest. Her hazel eyes were empty. "Kara, what-?"

She rose swiftly and stalked a few paces away. "Oh, don't look at me like that. You don't even believe in the Gods."

Lee glanced to the now destroyed book of Pythia whose pages he could apparently thank for the light and the warmth. Rising, he didn't dispute her statement. "You do."

She was quick to contradict him. "Did. Not anymore."

"Kara-"

"Lee." She used his patronizing tone on him and it shut him up. They stared at each other for a few seconds and then she shrugged. Any of the fight he thought he'd seen in her was gone now. Replaced by more hopelessness. "Look around. If this is really Earth … If the Gods really brought us here …"

She couldn't finish the statement and Lee watched as she sank heavily to the ground. She picked up a handful of gritty sand and let it trail between her fingers and then repeated the motion. Crossing the distance between them, he crouched on his haunches and mimicked her movement. "The Gods didn't bring us here," he pointed out quietly, wondering if she'd realize once and for all that they made their own destiny.

Instead, she froze, a few particles clinging to her palm and stared at them. Then, in a quiet voice, so quiet he had to strain to hear her, she whispered, "No, you're right. I did."

Lee wondered when Kara had decided everything in the universe was her fault. He didn't have time to pinpoint the exact moment as she rose abruptly and began to pace, her body silhouetted by the flames. "That frakkin' hybrid was right all along. I really am going to destroy us."

He rose and blocked her path. He reached for her shoulders, but she took a step away and Lee let his hands fall to his sides. He wanted to shake her and knock some sense into her – apparently, she wasn't going to let him. "You haven't destroyed us, Kara. You brought us to Earth."

"I brought us to a barren wasteland, Apollo," she countered harshly, hazel eyes now blazing with the intensity of the bonfire raging over her shoulder. "Me and the Final Four. You know what you get when you add that up?" Lee's breath froze again in his chest as he listened to her insane logic play out. "Five."

"You are not the final Cylon, Kara." He believed that with every fiber of his being.

"You don't know that." She challenged him, taking a step closer, getting in his face. Lee watched her eyes search his intently, darting back and forth as if trying to divine an answer from the Gods themselves. Her voice low, she added, "And you can't honestly tell me that since all this went down, you haven't considered it."

Lee was certain about two things in his life: one, he really hated food made from algae and two, Kara Thrace was not a Cylon. "I haven't."

Her eyes darted back and forth half a dozen times more and then she backed away, kicking at the sand. "You're a shitty liar, Apollo. It's a good thing you didn't have to actually campaign for president."

He heard the insult in her words, but knew it was a diversionary tactic. He refused to take the bait and instead watched as she drew patterns in the gravel with her foot, arms crossed tightly over her chest, head bowed. When she finally spoke, it was soft and controlled. "Two months, Lee. Two months I was gone and I can't remember a frakkin' thing about it. You saw my ship explode."

She lifted her face and met his eyes and he saw her vulnerability. She'd only let him see it maybe a handful of times before: after Zak's death, a few days after the attacks, when she'd returned from Caprica, when they'd slept together – and now. And as always, it made him want to hold her, to reach out to her and let her know that she didn't have to be strong. For just a few seconds, he wanted her to lean on him so that she could be Kara and not be afraid.

"How can you, or anyone else think for a minute that I'm not-" She faltered and quickly dropped her eyes back to the ground, taking a few deep breaths. Lee's heart was beating so fiercely in his chest he was surprised she couldn't hear it. He took a hesitant step forward, glad when she didn't back away. He took another and then froze as she again looked to him and managed to get out through clenched teeth, "How can you think I'm not-"

"Don't say it." He refused for her to speak the words. It would give them credence, lend them weight they didn't deserve.

She spoke despite his warning, but she didn't use the label he'd assumed.

"A liar. That's what I am. If I'm the Fifth, then my whole life will have been a lie, Apollo." She stepped closer yet again and Lee stood absolutely still as her hand reached out, hovering over his shoulder. Finally, with the lightest of touches, she traced the collar of his shirt as she continued. "Every minute, every memory will have been a lie. And you know what's worse? It'll make them right. My mother, Leoben." She physically shuddered at the Cylon's name and Lee risked placing his hand over hers where it had settled over his heart. She didn't pull away. "They'll be right and I don't know if I can live with that."

"Kara, _you_ have lived your life. Every minute of it, it's yours. It's real."

She sighed and shook her head sadly before backing away and Lee fought the urge to reach for her and not let go. "How do you know? Maybe it's all programming; wires and circuits and chips. Everything's been one frakkin' cosmic joke since the day I came cryin'."

He hated algae food and Kara was not a Cylon. That was his story and Lee was sticking to it. "I don't believe that."

She laughed wearily and shook her head. "Because you're an idiot." He didn't bristle at the insult, but she didn't stop to apologize. "An idiot who once said he loved a Cylon."

Okay, three things: dislike of algae food, Kara was not a Cylon and he loved Kara Thrace, past, present and future tense.

Stepping forward, Lee grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to look at him. Firmly, evenly and with great conviction, he said, "I love you, Kara. Human, Cylon, vegetable, mineral, whatever."

She didn't smile. If it were possible, she looked sadder. "You love a lie."

"No." He shook her slightly and caught sight of a bit of annoyance flashing in her gaze. Good, he'd rather she be riled up than frakkin' placid like she was now. "You had no knowledge of it, Kara. You haven't manipulated anyone or anything. You didn't know." He stopped as he realized she'd actually gotten him to entertain the notion that she was, in fact, a skin job. Annoyed, he amended his last statement. "You still don't. That makes it real, it makes you real, not a lie."

Her eyes held such sadness he wondered if she'd ever find a way to be happy again. He wondered if he had any way to make her happy again. "It's a nice pipe dream, Apollo, but you know it isn't true."

He squeezed her arms hard. "No, I don't. And neither do you."

She pulled her arms up quickly and knocked his hands off her shoulders in one swift motion. She didn't look so much sad any more as pissed. Lee considered it an improvement of sorts. "Gods dammit, Lee!"

Her voice echoed off nothing and Lee blinked at the one-eighty in her mood. "Would you just admit that you were right? I'm a screw-up, no good, a bitch, a whore and all those other words you try not to associate with me. I killed your brother, I drove you into a loveless marriage, I brought the Fleet to this hellhole – Frak, I married a Cylon! You should be gloating! YOU! WERE! RIGHT!"

Her chest heaved with the weight of her words, her entire body shaking from rage and self-disgust. He wondered how long all of that had been building inside her. He wondered what she must have thought when he'd showed up ten minutes ago. Had she really been bracing herself for a tongue-lashing? For him to come traipsing down here in the middle of the night to stick her nose in the fact that her ex-husband was a Cylon and she was a failure?

As much as that realization hurt, it hurt Lee even more to realize that Kara thought he'd get off on any of those things. When had they fallen this far? And why hadn't he seen it?

Glancing across to her, he caught Kara staring, surprised when she quickly looked away. Her shoulders were still shaking slightly and he couldn't help himself. He crossed the few feet between them and took her hands, holding tight as she tried to pull away. "Kara." She stopped struggling and met his eyes, more sadness and trepidation there then he'd been prepared for. "You can think what you want, but I wasn't _right _about anything. And the number of ways I was wrong could fill a book."

The prolonged silence was filled with a few crackles from the now dying fire. It was still a healthy blaze, but not nearly as high as when he'd first arrived. Kara stayed close for a few minutes, staring into his eyes, again looking for something he prayed she found.

A small giggle burst from her lips and Lee's eyes widened, watching as Kara struggled to keep in an even bigger laugh. In seconds the gig was up and she pulled away from him laughing uncontrollably, doubled over, hands on her knees as her body convulsed with laughter. He stared, again uncertain of this new mood, until he heard the unmistakable sound of a sob. Before he could even react, Kara straightened, threw her head back, stared at the sky and screamed. It was loud and long and ended in a strangled off, "Why?"

He was by her side in an instant, intent on wiping away the tear stains he could see on her perfect cheeks, intent on wiping away this incredible self-doubt Kara seemed so keen on holding close, but she pushed him, actually physically pushed him away and held herself stiff and straight, fists clenched at her sides.

"You have to promise me something, Lee."

She was dead serious and he swallowed hard. "What?"

She frowned. "Promise first."

He frowned even harder. "How big of an idiot do you think I am? I'm not making deals until you tell me what I'm agreeing to."

She pursed her lips and seemed to consider that; then she shrugged. "You have to kill me."

Lee's head was already spinning from the amount of twists and turns this conversation had taken; he couldn't process another. "What?"

Her voice was even, deliberate. She took two steps closer, eyes never breaking their stare on his and spoke as if this were the most normal request in the world. "If it turns out I'm the fifth, I want you to shoot me. I want you to make sure I can't hurt anyone or anything again."

He wondered now if Kara had possibly suffered a severe blow to the head during those two missing months. "Frak no."

"Dammit, Apollo, man up."

He crossed the last foot between them and held her tight by the shoulders. She didn't back away this time, barely acknowledged he was there. Instead, her eyes studied the rocky soil beneath their feet. "No, Kara. This is insane."

"Everybody has to have a skill."

Her self-deprecation wasn't going to distract him. "You are not the fifth and even if you were, you think I'm going to let you go?" Her eyes flashed in the dying firelight as she finally lifted her head to meet his gaze. He searched those hazel depths for some recognition, some understanding of the insanity of her request, but it wasn't there. "Do you honesty think I could?"

With a sigh, she backed up, stepping away from him and his hold. "Just one bullet, Lee." Again with that ridiculously calm voice, so condescending that he wanted to scream. "Right here." She pressed her index finger to the middle of her forehead, held it there for a moment. "Quick, easy. Painless."

Dammit. "Frak you." If she wanted him to be angry, well, then it appeared she'd get her wish. He wasn't going to listen to this.

"That's more like it. C'mon, Apollo, has civvie life made you that weak?" She was all challenge now, cocky stance, eyes burning with the dare. It made him madder.

"No, Kara. _You_ have." The words were out and he couldn't take them back and Lee cursed his inability to say the right thing, do the right thing whenever Kara Thrace was involved. He'd really thought he'd begun to learn from his mistakes – really thought that maybe their time apart, during her death, had been good for them both. But here he was, hurting her all over again.

The tense challenge she'd been displaying before was gone now. She was deflated by four words, and he could see the hopelessness returning. Gods, how he didn't want it to. "That's not what I meant," he told her softly.

She snorted quietly, but didn't look at him. "Yeah it is."

She had to know it wasn't – she was deliberately misunderstanding him as she had for almost their entire relationship. It made him angry. He wanted her to give up the ruse, to admit that she knew damn well how he felt about her and that despite everything she'd done – everything they'd done – everything the universe had done, those feelings were not going away. Maybe it was time for him to 'man up.'

"Okay, fine. Yes, some days, just the thought of you makes me soft, a push-over." Kara nodded, but kept her silence and he pushed on, hoping she was really listening and not reciting some silent diatribe about her own worthlessness. "I can't do anything, can't take a step because I can't get you out my mind."

He paused to take a breath and heard a sniffle. And it broke his heart. Stepping forward, he reached for her, cupping her face in his hands and tilting it up. He could catch the small shimmer of tearstains on her cheeks in the light of the fire. Her hazel eyes were luminous now, glowing with a million emotions he'd never be able to catalog. Swallowing hard, he kept speaking before he completely lost his nerve.

"But Kara, most days, you're the only thing I'm fighting for and that makes me stronger than anything."

She closed her eyes against these final words, but didn't back away. Instead, she nuzzled her face into his hand and leaned forward, resting her forehead against his shoulder. Lee breathed a small sigh of relief, hopeful his words had had a positive effect. At least she hadn't run screaming – he'd take the small victories.

They stood there, breathing and being for a number of minutes. Lee didn't count them, they didn't matter. Any time with Kara – seconds, minutes, hours – was precious. He didn't need to quantify it to know that. The fact that she was standing so close, that she was literally leaning on him was all he needed in this moment and he moved one of his hands from her cheek to wrap around her waist, keeping her close.

"You bet on the wrong horse, Apollo." Her voice was thick with emotion, but Lee listened intently. She didn't make another move and he didn't either. "You put all of your faith in a Cylon."

He held her closer. "I put my faith in you, Kara." His lips brushed against her ear and he felt her take a shuffling step closer to him. "My best friend, my wingmate. My lover." She lifted her head at these words, wide eyes staring at him, her lower lip trapped between her teeth. He held her gaze, let her see all he could bear to show her – he hoped it was enough. He wanted to be enough.

Again cradling her face in his palms, he leaned forward, their lips barely touching. "And I'd do it again."

He kissed her gently, nipping at her lower lip before covering her mouth with his own. Lee loved kissing her – they'd had scant chances to be this close since her return, but he hadn't forgotten how wonderful she was; how amazing it was to breathe her in, how heady her touch could make him, how giddy he felt drawing that tiny mewl of pleasure from deep in her throat.

She gave into him, he felt it in the way she stepped closer, in the way she wrapped her arms around him and held on – in the way she opened her mouth to his and tried to devour him just as he tried to devour her. It was passion and comfort and love all at once and Lee simply held on tight.

It was over too quickly. She was pushing at him, trying her best to break away from his mouth, from his embrace and it took Lee's brain a few seconds to catch on. Once he had, he immediately wished he hadn't – he missed her already, even as she took just a few steps back, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand and panting slightly. He couldn't catch his breath either – never could, not with her.

"No, Lee. No." She shook her head hard as if trying to dislodge something and took another step farther away. Lee followed her retreat until she held up a hand, forcing him to stay. "We can't do this. You can't get too close. Who knows what I'm capable of?"

He gritted his teeth and fought to keep the shout from his voice. "Dammit, Kara. You are not Cylon."

"Really?" Her eyes were burning with anger now and Lee caught sight of a fierce gleam that made his stomach turn. "We don't know that – maybe we never will." She dropped her eyes back to the fire, watching for a minute as the flames continued to die down. He watched closely as she stared at nothing and then turned back to face him. One hand clutched at her stomach while the other hovered over her kiss swollen lips. Eyes wide once more, she lifted her hand and studied it closely, staring at it with an intensity that once again unnerved him. "I have to know," she finally whispered, sprinting back to the log he'd found her on and her pack there.

Confused, Lee watched, taking a few steps to follow until she turned to face him once more and then he froze. Her bowie knife was in her hand, its deadly, silver blade gleaming and Lee felt his heart jump into his throat. With a singular intent, he watched as she took a slice at her left forearm and then he simply acted.

With a small growl of rage, Lee tackled her to the ground, sending the knife flying. Kara shouted in surprise and anger, and struggled, head thrashing, arms flailing. He braced himself for her blows, seeing her come at him with clawing fingers and hands, but felt nothing.

"Kara!" He tried to reach her, tried to find the woman he loved in the midst of this psychotic break, but he couldn't. She was so distraught, hands tearing at her own forearm, worn fingernails working their way into the skin, drawing blood.

He caught on fast and tried to grab at her wrists, but she kept twisting away from him, managing to exert quite a bit of strength despite the fact that he was straddling her. "Kara, stop. You're going to hurt yourself."

"You can't hurt a machine, Lee. If I dig deep enough, maybe we'll see them." She kept clawing. "The wires, the metal-"

"Kara, no. Don't." He managed to get a hold of her wrist, but she fought him like a creature possessed. Lee held tight, noting how her nails were coated in blood. He wrestled the hand and arm to the ground, pinning her shoulder with most of his own weight. She was shaking now and crying silent tears, but still resisting him every step of the way.

As he shifted his position slightly to trap that hand against her body, he reached for the other, gingerly taking hold of her arm as he noticed a deep gash on her wrist. She'd managed to dig quite a hole into her skin and it was oozing blood now. Bracing himself for more of a fight, Kara startled him again by relaxing completely, her arm going limp in his hand, her anger and heartache coming out in a long, shuddering breath.

He took a minute to breathe deep, studying the wound so he wouldn't have to see the desolation in her eyes. Convinced it wasn't bad, he inhaled again and then raised his eyes to hers, trying not to lose hope. "You really hurt yourself. Are you happy now?"

"I don't want to do this, Lee." Her voice was hoarse and Lee leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers. "I don't want to be a Cylon."

"You're not, Kara." His lips found hers again and he placed a gentle, almost chase kiss there. "You're not."

"We don't know for sure."

Fairly certain she wouldn't again try to scratch off her skin, Lee shifted positions, stretching out beside her, one arm propping up his head, while the other stayed tight around her mid-section, holding her close. "Maybe not, but D'Anna does, and tomorrow, using some more of that presidential privilege, I'm going to find out – once and for all."

She nodded once, eyes staring at the dark sky before turning her head to face him, more fear and uncertainty clearly marring her features. "What if it's me?"

He leaned forward and nuzzled her cheek with his nose before pressing a kiss there. "It's not."

"What if-"

"No more what ifs, Kara." He raised himself up and leaned over her, making sure she could see his conviction, making sure she would know he had no doubts. "What ifs have just about ruined our lives, don't you think?" The edge of her mouth barely quirked up, but he'd take it. Gently, he brushed some of her hair off her forehead and then added, "Besides, I love you – it doesn't matter what she says."

Her eyes were searching his again, but he didn't know what for. He watched as she swallowed hard several times and finally managed, "Lee, I-" before clamming up again and staring past him.

"What?"

It took her several minutes to get the words out, but when they came, he knew the worst of it was past – at least for tonight. "I need to know something."

He gently brushed his fingers along her cheek. He had to keep touching her, had to remind her that she was real, that they were real and he was here and he wasn't going away.

With another of her famous self-deprecating grins, she added, "And before I ask, I realize how monumentally ironic and idiotic it is for me to think you owe me any sort of answer."

He smiled slightly. "Come on, Kara. What?"

With a sigh, she sat forward and he went with her, sitting close as she pulled her knees into her chest and rested her cheek on them. His hand absentmindedly ran through her hair, any excuse to maintain their physical contact. He could stare at her like this until doomsday, of course, but he could see her mind struggling to ask some question, could see how hard it was for her to muster the courage. His own heart began to beat sharply in his chest.

"This – us," she began haltingly, reaching for his hand and holding it. "Is it … is it for real? Are you going to – I mean, you'd have every right if you wanted. I did it to you."

He knew exactly what she wasn't saying – that night and morning after were never far from his thoughts. Holding her hand firmly in his, he locked eyes with her and said, "I'm not leaving, Kara. I'm not leaving you."

Lee guessed that she wanted to believe him, but he could see the doubt raging across her face. "But, I-"

"Believe me, I remember what you did." Her cheeks blushed a deep shade of red at the admittance, but Lee pushed on. "But you were different, I was different and we just – it wasn't the right time."

With a wry smirk, she teased, "And now's the right time?"

He returned her grin. "I think so." Sobering, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I hope so."

She sighed once more and leaned forward, their foreheads resting together. "I really need you to be sure," she breathed.

"Did you just say you need me?" Oh yeah, there was no way he was letting that go unnoticed.

"Shut up, asshole." She pulled back and he could see the humor in her face, before she again sobered. "There are so many things that are out of control, I just – I need this." She squeezed his hand tight and stared at him, apparently trying by pure force of will to make him understand. It wasn't necessary – he got it. Lee Adama loved and needed Kara Thrace just as much as she loved and needed him. Why had it taken her so long to figure that out?

"I need you." The words were soft-spoken, tentative, but they made his heart soar. Lee was certain he'd fly apart at any minute as she added, "I need you to stay with me, Lee."

He knew he shouldn't, but he pressed his luck anyway. "And why is that?"

She rolled her eyes and he felt her pull away – emotionally, if not physically. "I just told you."

"No, Kara. Why?" He was going to press this point, he wanted an answer. He wanted to hear it – from her – just this once. He'd never ask again. "Why do you need me?"

It seemed as if Earth herself was waiting for an answer. Lee listened to Kara sigh, listened to her breath, listened to her clear her throat half a dozen times. And then, finally, he watched as she raised her head and held his gaze. And he listened as she said softly, "Because I love you."

Yeah, he really wasn't going to need a Raptor or a Viper or any form of transportation to get back to Galactica – he could fly home himself with the giddiness that had imbued his entire body at Kara's confession. The grin on his face was probably more than ridiculous; he didn't care. He leaned forward, breathing her in once more before kissing her softly. She sighed against him, arms wrapped tight around his shoulders. Lee pulled her closer, their bodies flush against each other and kept kissing her.

Parting for air, he trailed a line of kisses across her cheek and whispered, "Say it again."

She laughed softly and nipped at his ear lobe causing his entire body to shudder pleasantly. "Frak you."

With a teasing frown, he leaned back and tsked disapprovingly. "Oh, Kara, and you were doing-"

"I love you, Lee."

He grinned again – that same idiotic grin and then kissed her. He kissed her long and deep, tongues, lips, teeth meeting in a flurry of passion. He wanted to keep her here like this, whole and warm and close, forever. And the ardor with which she was holding onto him implied she wanted the same.

"What time are Helo and Sharon coming back?" she managed between kisses, her panting breath warming his cheek, his eyelids, his neck.

"The morning," he answered, grinning wickedly as he felt the deep chuckle rumble through her chest and into his mouth.

"Thought you might get lucky, Mr. President?"

Lee leaned back reluctantly, brushing her hair back from her flushed face, delighting in the way her eyes sparkled with mirth and happiness – so very different from just a few minutes ago. Maybe they'd be okay.

He stared into her shining eyes and couldn't help laughing lightly at the absolutely wicked look on Kara's face. "I was optimistic," he admitted coyly.

Kara threw her head back, staring up at the sky once more, only this time she didn't cry or scream or question the Gods.

This time, she laughed.

And this time, Lee joined her.


End file.
